...And baby makes 3...

There were three things that I have wanted my whole life. 1) To be able to travel to different parts of the world and be completely submerged into a different culture. 2) To find a man who would love me unconditionally, laugh with me always, hold my hand through tough times, and simply be my partner and best friend through whatever life handed us. And 3) To be a mommy.

Once I got the first two items checked, it seemed natural to scratch off number three. Unfortunately, it doesn't always happen as easy as you'd like and if you know me or have read my blog, you know how incredibly frustrated I was getting with the whole baby deal. I honestly don't know if I could have handled it any differently. Getting pregnant does not happen like it does in the movies (unless you are one of those lucky few): Scene: Couple decides that they want a baby. Next scene: Funny sex moment. Scene three: Positive pregnancy test, tears, laughter. Mommy growing large but still remaining very cute and always in high heels... And cue baby!

It's frustrating when something like getting pregnant is completely out of your hands and each month, you try, try, and try again and pray for different results and nothing happens.

So, after my horrible doctor's appointment and taking seven pregnancy tests in June (yes, that is seven, it is not a typo, and yes, I know that I'm nuts), I had just given up hope and succumbed to the fact that nothing was going to happen until we moved to California and could go and see a new doctor.

My birthday was on Monday, August 6th and when I blew out my candles, I wished and prayed that the following week would give us a positive pregnancy test. I knew that it was silly but hey, what could it hurt?

That Friday, I took a test a few days early because I had a Louisiana trip on Monday and wanted to be able to celebrate with Joe IF it came out positive (scoffs, yeah right). And of course, it didn't.

On Sunday, Joe asked when I was due to start and if I should take another test. He had been acting so loving and affectionate, more so than normal, and having these dreams that I was pregnant. As much as my fragile heart wanted to find hope in this, I just couldn't. He had never suggested for me to take a test before, so I thought, why not?

Monday morning, we got up like any other day. I took my test, left it, and went to make Joe's lunch. I put his sandwich together, thinking how very stupid it was to take ANOTHER pregnancy test that I knew was going to come out negative. He asked if I had taken it and I told him that I had and that it was doing it's little testing thing.

A minute later, I heard, "Dee, come here!". My heart dropped and I'm pretty sure the color drained from my face. I walked into the bathroom where I saw my stunned and broadly smiling husband, standing near a test that said, "Pregnant". I looked at him, looked at the test, looked at him again and could not believe my eyes. We immediately started hugging and jumping up and down, laughing and crying because we had finally gotten our wish.

I am 7 weeks and even with the constant morning sickness, headaches, fatigue, and countless emotional roller coaster rides, it feels completely surreal to me. It's amazing how much you can love a little being that you have never met and now we deal with the fear of our little bean just going away. So far, we are doing okay and every time I find myself throwing up in a public restroom (not some of my finer moments) I am comforted with the fact that my little one is strong and very present.

Baby D is truly the greatest birthday gift that I could have ever received. I have never felt more blessed than now with the love that surrounds me (and inside of me!) and I am thrilled with this new road to Parenthood that Joe and I are about to embark. It's exciting, scary, and at times a bit nerve-wracking but I honestly don't think that we could be any luckier.

A Piece of My Heart

Lots of changes are going on in our little Daugherty Household.  The main one at the moment is our impending Cali move.  So, instead of being a good little girl and staying home to clean and get ready for the movers (who are coming in less than a week... OH MY GOD), last week I decided to make a Louisiana road trip one more time. 

In the past, the road trips back home would be... well... a bit more eventful.  My sister worked as a bartender all through college, so when I'd go back home to visit, hanging out at the bar would be my main pastime (Hello! Free drinks!  Just sayin!).  Needless to say, it has been crazy to watch as our little lives have evolved into something that resembles those of grownups. 

While in the past, my trips would include countless numbers of beer bottles, my recent trips have been filled with baby bottles and burping and the occasional spit up.  Back then, a big Saturday night would be getting dressed up, maybe going to a trendy restaurant, and then bar hopping until at least two in the morning.  This past Saturday, we went eat dinner with family, were home by 8:30, in our p.j.'s by 9:00, and then had a contest to see who could stay up to finish the movie that we had selected.  Glamorous?  Absolutely not.  But would I go back to those crazy, hectic party girl days?  Hell no (well, maybe some days I think I might want to... and then the thought alone makes me tired... so: Hell no!).

My sister and I have gone through life, hand in hand, facing whatever challenges that come at us as a team.  Moving across the country, away from the girl who used to hold my hand at night when we were little bitty, will be one of the hardest things that I have had to do in a really long time.  I know that we will be okay and that there is no distance that can break our bond... but, good Lord, I am going to miss my girl. 

I have been very blessed in the fact that I have been able to travel back and forth several times over the past ten months to get a few more of those precious moments that I keep locked in my heart.  I am grateful for the fact that I was there the day my little godchild was born, looking around at a big, new world with those beautiful gray eyes.  I am also grateful for the fact that I have seen him grow into the little chunk that he is today, smiling and teething and such a happy baby!  I have loved seeing my sister grow into this amazing woman and mother who will do anything to take care of her baby and her little family and I am so proud of the woman that she is becoming. 

This move won't be easy because I am leaving a part of my heart in Louisiana but I know that it will be very well taken care of until I am able to return!       

I had been dying to take more pictures of my sister and Ira.  Unfortunately, Ira was not too happy when Nannie decided to that it was photo time.  Even though he is crying in most of them, I feel that these pictures truly capture "Mommyhood".  Being a mommy is not always easy and perfect.  They simply have to do the best that they can for their little ones, while giving them as much love as possible.  For that reason, I absolutely love these pics :) 

Ira Bean and the monster hat that I made him :)

    

Deanna D... And Photography???

As I check my Facebook and see all of my past teacher friends, along with parents of children, all starting a new school year, I can't help but feel a bit out of the loop.

I have taught for five years and decided at the absolute worst time in history to quit my very safe and secure position as a High School English III teacher.  I loved my job, my school, and my kids.  But, I knew last year that with Hubs leaving for Iraq, I was going to move when he returned, so what better time to travel?  It was one of the best Life decisions that I have ever made... Career wise?  Not so much.

Now, another school year is rolling in and since we are moving at the most inconvenient time for a teacher, mid-Fall, and there are absolutely no jobs in the vast desert where we are moving... let me rephrase, there is ONE English position ...two hours away... I am finding myself again at the door of unemployment (although, the job of Housewife, a.k.a. Domestic Goddess, really can be a full-time job).

I pretty much knew that this would be the situation when we found out that we were getting relocated, so for the past few months, I have been plagued with the question of, "What will I do once we get there?!?!?" 

I assume that for many people, the answer to this question wouldn't be that difficult.  They would just go out and get the first job that came along.  I'm not saying that I won't do the same... but, for me: the dreamer, the student, the passionate girl that puts all of her energy into the work that she loves, the thought of this just doesn't come easily.

Thank the Lord that I have a man who understands me.

We have exhausted every scenario; every idea... What if I go back to school for my Masters?  But what for?  Administration?  English literature?  Will I be happy with whichever choice I make?  Will it be the economically right decision?  Will I even be able to find a job after taking out more student loans?  Is it all even worth it?  My questions would go on and on...  And then after talking with Joe about my indecisiveness, I'd have to talk to my two other closest confidants, my sister and my bestie, who would both patiently listen and discuss the pros and cons of each option.  Absolutely exhausting.

As much as I wanted to simply hurry up and make a decision, I could not find peace in any route that I looked at.  And, with age, I have learned two things: 1) To trust my instinct.  There's a reason that none of it was sitting right with me.  And 2) As much as I thought and questioned and talked and talked and talked, God would eventually show me the exact path that I needed to be on and then, and only then, would I know in my heart that it was the right decision. 

So, here I was, plagued with all of this indecisiveness but little did I know that a seed had already been planted a long time ago.  I have always loved photography.  I love pictures, documenting moments, and then surrounding myself with all of these memories in my house (and yes, even in my classroom). 

It wasn't until Joe and I were in The Dominican on our honeymoon and had pictures taken that the little seed started to grow.  After our wonderful experience, I started thinking, Man, maybe I could do that... I have enough creativity and patience to work on learning this craft, learning how to really work and use a good camera camera, and taking time to edit pictures.  Maybe... But then, of course, I thought, how nuts!  Your nearly 30!!! You're talking about a whole new career path!!! So much to learn, so much to figure out...

Somehow, for my birthday, I got everything that I needed to pursue this crazy endeavor.  The fantastic camera, a book to show how to use the fantastic camera (thanks again, Steph!), and an editing program that had my sister's boyfriend drooling.  A sign???  Who knows... All that I know is that photography has me more excited than I have been in a very long time.  I am planning on taking photo classes when we get to Cali and then see where it all goes from there.  If nothing happens, well, I'll be able to take some really fantastic pics of my family!  But... I have been so inspired by people that I know who have pursued their photography careers and this girl can't help but dream... just a little.

So, if you have advice, tips, comments, or just want someone to take your pic while I'm still in town, let me know!  I'm a sponge and am trying to soak up as much as I can.  Do I still feel nuts about all of this???  Absolutely! 

With all of that said, I will leave you with some of the photos that I have been working on!  Have a fantastic weekend!

One of the first pics that I took with the new camera. For some reason, I am absolutely in love with this picture and everything about it: the contrast between the green and the blue, the live plants and the dead tree.  LOVE it!

It's easy to have fun and practice on such cute little subjects!

"Ummm... Nannie... you know what you are doing with that thing???"

My FAVORITE Ira picture.  Absolutely love his sweet little face!!!

More photo fun with my niece and nephew... So cute :)

 

I don't think she knew what to think about the s'mores...

Sharing with Uncle Joe

Photo fun with lights...

The photographer taking a break... :)

     
   
   

        

Birthday Weekend Adventure: Bastrop State Park

"Oh my God! Today is your birthday?!?! You should definitely go out and get crazy tonight!"

This coming from my 23 year old neighbor last night after Joe informed her that it was my birthday.

Never did the idea of going out sound more unappealing.

In the past, I have been known to be the "Party Girl." There is not one birthday that I can really think of that didn't include getting dressed up, going out, and usually paying for it with a killer hangover the next morning. In my early 20's, I knew a place to go out every night of the week. Mid-20's, I toned it down a bit but still had places that I'd frequent quite often and the thought of staying home on a Friday or Saturday night drove me nuts. Lately, things have slowly begun to change.

When Joe suggested that we go to Bastrop State Park for my birthday weekend, I was hesitant for maybe a minute, thinking of how much I'd enjoy getting dressed up and going out,  but then quickly agreed whole-heartily. Joe and I pride ourselves on taking any adventure that we can but lately, it seems that those adventures have been far and few between. Over the past month, he has had Funeral Detail and we've both been busy with spending quality time with family and friends before our big departure.  There hasn't been a whole lot of time for Joe-Dee adventures.

I think that we were both looking forward to our little getaway and after the four hour drive into west, west Texas, we made it to Bastrop.  It was the absolute best decision for a Birthday Weekend Adventure.

First of all, this park is by far one of the most beautiful places that I have ever seen in Texas. Surrounded by desert mountains, the crystal clear Frio River runs. (Joe said they weren't really considered mountains but I'm a Louisiana girl: if it's higher than an ant hill, it's a mountain in my book.) Lining the Frio are these massive, wise, old cypress trees. Every time we were outside, the depth of beauty that surrounded us quite literally took my breath away.

We spent the weekend hiking, floating the river, camping, and enjoying each other's company. I know that I gush about how amazing my husband is quite often but he really went above and beyond to make me feel special this weekend.  Two of the more special moments included him getting fellow campers to sing me Happy Birthday at midnight and making a wine tasting stop at a vineyard on our way home and purchasing several bottles of fancy wine.  The boy sure does know the way to my heart!

No, ringing in my 29th year did not involve "going out and getting crazy," but I could not be happier with the way that we spent it. Maybe I'm getting older, maybe a bit boring, but Lord knows, I have never felt more content.  This year has already started out extra special and I couldn't help but send up a note of thanks as I blew out my birthday candles and made a wish... 

A few pics from this past weekend...

Dobs and I found a cozy little cubby on our hike up the mountain!

 

The beautiful Frio River and my love

One of my favorite pics from this weekend. 

Birthday wine!!!

Cheers!