Trial and Error

One of the main lessons that I have learned about parenting over this past year is that it is all about "trial and error."

It's funny because I think that many new parents enter this new role with all of these ideas and beliefs about what they want to happen when they are finally the ones in charge.  They say things like, "MY kid will NEVER run around with messy hair/ half naked/ in a diaper."  Or, "MY kid will never throw a fit in Wal-Mart and if she does, well, we are leaving immediately."

I think that these kinds of thoughts are completely normal and totally healthy because it shows that ultimately what we want is to be GOOD parents.  But, then, that little human being shows up with their own set of ideas and wants and things begin to change... 

Instead of leaving as soon as your kiddo starts hollering, you find yourself sprinting across Wal-Mart as you frantically try to check off the remaining items on your list because you will be damned if you have to make another trip later.  Or, you realize that it's hot outside, you are at home, clothes on toddlers are just another thing that you have to wash, and this happens...

...and she is still so damn cute

 

 

I have done my fair share of putting my foot in my mouth this past year.  I will say that we are/aren't definitely going to do something with Adaline (and trust me, it is with the absolute best intention because I have completed plenty of research and have full faith in my decision)... and then my child has a different idea of what is going to happen and I am left scratching my head and thinking, "Well, what the hell am I gonna do now?!?!"

 

I have written in the past about how sleeping was a huge issue for us.  We did sleep training with her, I wrote a whole post about how we had finally conquered the Great Sleep Debacle... and to be completely honest, I had to try it all over again seven months later when it finally stuck and that was when Adaline got the hang of sleeping in her own bed for a whole night. 

 

The thing is, is that I had an idea of what should happen and I felt like a failure when it didn't.  I thought that my child should be sleeping in her bed for the whole night because that's what "good" babies do.  When people ask about your new baby, one of the very first questions that comes up is, "Is she sleeping through the night?" and if the answer is no, well, what are you doing wrong???  But, in reality, I think that (for us) my child just needed me throughout the night to be fed or comforted and it was fine.  And then, when it stopped working for us and she was ready and I was ready to take that next step, sleep training was smooth sailing and she got it like a champ (and so did I).

 

So, why did I put so much pressure on myself???

 

Our issue these days deals with our lovely little friend, Bottle.  I was absolutely certain that once we hit a year, I'd put those bad boys away and we'd all happily and merrily move on.  I even made a nice little FB post about how we were done, done, done with the bottle (insert foot in mouth).

 

When we started off, I was strong and determined.  She had been drinking water out of a sippy since she was about four or five months old.  I had bought about seven different kinds of sippy cups for her to drink milk so I thought for sure that we'd be fine.  I hid the bottles... and then I saw how absolutely miserable my child was.  I hadn't just taken away a bottle for milk.  I had taken away her only comfort object.  She has never taken a pacifier, never had a "lovie," or blanket that she liked to hold onto.  Her bottle is and has been her only source of comfort.  And she was miserable.  And there was no reprieve for my sweet and unhappy baby. 

 

I tried for about week with bedtime bottles only... and after dealing with my miserable child alone (Joe was on rotation), she started getting an early evening bottle to go with that.  And I'm not going to lie, with cutting teeth, her getting sick, me getting sick, Joe being on rotation... there may be a few bottles here and there.

 

And, once again, I am left feeling like I failed and scratching my head and thinking, "What in the hell am I gonna do now???"  Cold turkey obviously does not work for us.  If Joe were home more to give a bit of reprieve from Lady Grump, it might be a little easier.  But, the real question is not about the bottle, but how do you lovingly help your child get rid of a comfort object without everyone losing their sanity in the process??  Or, am I putting too much pressure on both of us?  Will this stuff just happen organically and maybe I shouldn't stress as much?  I just don't know...       



Anyone?  I am all ears.  And if anyone would like to volunteer for the job, feel free.  We have five months until the new baby arrives and I'd like this to happen before we have even more changes to rock our world.  Kay.  Thanks!  ;)

In her happy place :)

Revamp and Update!

I've decided that this little blog needed a bit of a revamp considering how different things are since I started writing a few years ago.  Before, my world solely and completely revolved around the man of my dreams, my Joe.  Now, my universe has expanded to include a couple of additions.  My weekends used to be focused on motorcycle day trips followed by fun nights out... and now they are just a tad bit more low key.  Seriously, I hardly notice when Fridays come around these days and it's really okay.  I have fully embraced my roles as wife and mother and I LOVE it.  I have never felt happier and more sure that this is the exact place that I am supposed to be. 

So, of course, this blog needed to reflect that.  Joe and I will never be rich.  He'll be in the army until he retires and one day, after I am done being a stay-at-home momma, I plan to resume my career as a teacher.  Money is tight but we are happy and that is our goal and that is essentially what we want for our kids.  Trust me, I know that this is not always easy... but if a couple can still find happiness in the miserable little desert island that is Fort Irwin, it is definitely possible!

My sweet Adaline is a year old (she's actually almost 13 months but I'm going to try my hardest not to be that mom that makes you do math when I tell you the age of my kiddo).  This child amazes me.  Every.  Single.  Day.  She is affectionate and sweet and loves to be cuddled and patted.  She has even started to take my hand and put it on her leg so that I can give her a nice little pat.  She is a momma's girl, which usually isn't an issue until she is hanging onto my legs while I'm cooking dinner.  She loves to make people laugh and will try to catch the attention of random strangers and start laughing, in hopes that they will laugh in return.  She loves to "talk" and will often "ask questions."  My go-to response is usually, "Yes," which tends to make me nervous afterwards because I realize that she could be asking me if it's cool for her to play with the electric sockets or fly off of the roof... and I just gave her the go-ahead.  I probably should rethink my answer.  And she is smart.  I know every parent says that their kiddo is smart but she really is!  I'm amazed at the stuff that she picks up daily and seeing her grow and develop into a little person has been one of the most incredible experiences of my life.

She sounds perfect, right?  Pretty close!  We have definitely entered toddler-hood and all of the fun things that go with it: teething, stubborness, temper tantrums, etc.  Things that I never thought would be an issue (getting rid of bottles, for instance) have completely blown my mind and I am usually left dazed and confused as to what in the heck is going on with this little being.  (More on this later.)  It may not be perfect but I wouldn't trade this for anything.

Since God saw that we were having so much fun with our peanut, I guess that was when He decided to send another one on the way.

Joe and I had briefly talked about another baby but there was nothing set on when we'd "officially" start trying.  After eight months, I decided to reclaim my body and quit breastfeeding.  As much as I loved that time with Addie, it was lovely to be able to have a couple of glasses of wine at the end of the day with my hubs.  I felt like a free woman again.  I was running, concentrating on getting in shape, and I figured that we would wait until Addie was about a year to start on baby #2 (which just so happens to be after our anniversary where I was hoping for a weekend getaway so momma could have one last hurrah!).

One month after I quit breastfeeding, I decided to take a pregnancy test since I was enjoying my vino and there was no cycle in sight.  It was Monday, February 17th.  Joe had started a rotation that weekend and had come in that morning at about 3:00, so he was still sleeping when I got up with Addie.  I vividly remember taking the test, looking over as she was digging through the bathroom cabinet and thinking to myself, "What in the heck would I do with two babies?!?"  Less than a minute later, two pink lines appeared and told me that I was gonna have to figure that one out.

I am beyond thrilled about our new baby but I'm not going to lie, there are moments of sheer panic when I think about the crazy ride that is ahead of us.  And then I remember that despite any craziness that is involved with having a baby around, there is a whole lot of love and joy and something magical and that fear kind of slips away.

I am 17 weeks and despite the fact that Joe is gone and on rotation, I am enjoying the fact that Adaline is asleep and my sweet little baby is happy and snug in my belly.  All is good in our little world and we are happy!

My view these days...