Since my pregnancy with Adaline feels like it was approximately ten minutes ago, it has been relatively easy to compare it to this new pregnancy. I'm sure that many women would agree that each pregnancy is completely different and for me, this holds to be incredibly true. A lot of it has been much, much easier but then again, some of it has been a hell of a lot harder.
For me, the first trimester this time around was easier. With both of my sweet babies I have been incredibly blessed with every pregnant woman's dream first trimester... Haha! Just kidding! I wish! First trimester totally sucked. Extreme exhaustion, constant nausea, and vomiting at any moment during the day (or night). So fun. So, how was this time around easier with my toddler banging on the bathroom door while mommy is losing her breakfast? Because:
1- I knew what to expect. The first time around, I had no idea how miserable I was going to be and let me tell you, I wallowed in it. I felt like crap and decided to hibernate for the next 9 months (I so wish I could hibernate again...). And 2- When you have a kid that needs you, there is seriously no time to be sick. You throw up and move on. You plan and throw a birthday party, pack and move to a new house, clean, get groceries, gag and change poopy diapers, all the while fighting off sleep and taking "up-chuck breaks". It sucks... but, you're Super Mom... so you just deal with it. And that actually did help. Once the first trimester was over and my body got used to the craziness that is pregnancy, I looked in the mirror and thought, "Damn, you are one bad ass bitch!"
This time, I am quite aware of how hard it is to lose baby weight. When I got pregnant with Addie, I may have been a little too excited about the fact that for once in my adult life I didn't really have to worry about a diet... and boy, did I celebrate. My appetite was huge and I gave in to my cravings for pretty much anything and everything. I also slowed down majorly on working out (there's not a whole lot of time to work out when you are hibernating). 43 pounds and a 6 lb, 12 oz baby later (yeah, I was just a little disappointed that Addie wasn't the reason I had gotten so big), I realized just how hard I had to work to get it off.
When I got pregnant with Bebe Deux, I still had four pounds left to lose. Not terrible but definitely not where I wanted to be. I have to give Adaline some credit because chasing her and constantly picking her up is one of the best work outs ever. We are also walking between two and three miles about five to six days a week and I am doing a 30-day squat challenge. I figured if everything else is going to get big, my legs might as well still look decent. I still give into those not-so-good food choices (I mean, seriously, can any pregnant lady resist ice cream???) but I am much more conscious of what I eat. There are a lot more salads and fruit. I'm at 20.5 weeks, still able to fit in my regular shorts... I have NO idea how this is happening... and have gained ten pounds so far. If I still end up gaining 43 pounds, well, at least I know that I am healthier and more active and definitely trying this time around. And I'll just go from there.
The hard stuff...
These past couple of weeks have been incredibly difficult for me and I know that a large portion of it is due to hormones. I think that guys... and hell, women do, too... joke about the hormones of a crazy pregnant women but truly, this shit makes life so much harder. I know that I can be completely overreacting to something and in my head, am thinking, "What are you doing?!? You are being absolutely ridiculous," but it is a train that cannot be stopped. Once the storm has passed and I am able to see clearly again, I am left feeling sad and regretful and it just stinks.
The hormones were there with my last pregnancy but this time around, it has been so much harder to deal with. Now, I have a teething toddler who is testing her tantrum-throwing skills and wants to be held all of the time. Now, my hubby is gone nearly every other two weeks for two weeks and I am missing his presence (and help) more than ever. "Me-time" no longer exists and I am exhausted every single day. I thought that pregnancy brain was bad before, but trying to form sentences with pregnancy brain while your toddler is throwing her fifth temper tantrum of the day because you won't let her play with a pair of scissors that miraculously appeared out of nowhere is beyond frustrating. And, then fear creeps in when you think, "We're adding ANOTHER BABY to the chaos?!?! What were we thinking???" And you feel like you absolutely can't do it for another minute of another day...
And then God sends you a break.
Your hubby tells you to go to the movies and to not worry about the baby. He's got it.
Your kiddo stops sucking on her nighttime bottle just so that she can give you a kiss.
And you remember and realize that this beautiful, crazy, sometimes-so-difficult mess that is mommyhood and pregnancy is SO worth it. And you're able to make it through another day.
