...And baby makes 3...

There were three things that I have wanted my whole life. 1) To be able to travel to different parts of the world and be completely submerged into a different culture. 2) To find a man who would love me unconditionally, laugh with me always, hold my hand through tough times, and simply be my partner and best friend through whatever life handed us. And 3) To be a mommy.

Once I got the first two items checked, it seemed natural to scratch off number three. Unfortunately, it doesn't always happen as easy as you'd like and if you know me or have read my blog, you know how incredibly frustrated I was getting with the whole baby deal. I honestly don't know if I could have handled it any differently. Getting pregnant does not happen like it does in the movies (unless you are one of those lucky few): Scene: Couple decides that they want a baby. Next scene: Funny sex moment. Scene three: Positive pregnancy test, tears, laughter. Mommy growing large but still remaining very cute and always in high heels... And cue baby!

It's frustrating when something like getting pregnant is completely out of your hands and each month, you try, try, and try again and pray for different results and nothing happens.

So, after my horrible doctor's appointment and taking seven pregnancy tests in June (yes, that is seven, it is not a typo, and yes, I know that I'm nuts), I had just given up hope and succumbed to the fact that nothing was going to happen until we moved to California and could go and see a new doctor.

My birthday was on Monday, August 6th and when I blew out my candles, I wished and prayed that the following week would give us a positive pregnancy test. I knew that it was silly but hey, what could it hurt?

That Friday, I took a test a few days early because I had a Louisiana trip on Monday and wanted to be able to celebrate with Joe IF it came out positive (scoffs, yeah right). And of course, it didn't.

On Sunday, Joe asked when I was due to start and if I should take another test. He had been acting so loving and affectionate, more so than normal, and having these dreams that I was pregnant. As much as my fragile heart wanted to find hope in this, I just couldn't. He had never suggested for me to take a test before, so I thought, why not?

Monday morning, we got up like any other day. I took my test, left it, and went to make Joe's lunch. I put his sandwich together, thinking how very stupid it was to take ANOTHER pregnancy test that I knew was going to come out negative. He asked if I had taken it and I told him that I had and that it was doing it's little testing thing.

A minute later, I heard, "Dee, come here!". My heart dropped and I'm pretty sure the color drained from my face. I walked into the bathroom where I saw my stunned and broadly smiling husband, standing near a test that said, "Pregnant". I looked at him, looked at the test, looked at him again and could not believe my eyes. We immediately started hugging and jumping up and down, laughing and crying because we had finally gotten our wish.

I am 7 weeks and even with the constant morning sickness, headaches, fatigue, and countless emotional roller coaster rides, it feels completely surreal to me. It's amazing how much you can love a little being that you have never met and now we deal with the fear of our little bean just going away. So far, we are doing okay and every time I find myself throwing up in a public restroom (not some of my finer moments) I am comforted with the fact that my little one is strong and very present.

Baby D is truly the greatest birthday gift that I could have ever received. I have never felt more blessed than now with the love that surrounds me (and inside of me!) and I am thrilled with this new road to Parenthood that Joe and I are about to embark. It's exciting, scary, and at times a bit nerve-wracking but I honestly don't think that we could be any luckier.