It's apparent you're a parent...

Many times during the day, I find myself doing or thinking things that either never crossed my mind until six and a half months ago or hasn't crossed my mind since I was in college.  Since I've had Adaline, I find myself making a pot of coffee at one in the afternoon (I haven't drank this much coffee since college), washing my hair maybe twice a week (it's sad when the girls in your work out class notice that your hair is looking especially fresh and clean), finding jeans too dressy for the day (yoga pants it is, again!), throwing on a baseball cap several days of the week, and giving the term "wrestling" a new definition to mean putting a diaper on your six month old.

These little realizations make me laugh and I wouldn't change being a parent for the world!  I could come up with a hundred ways to finish the sentence, "You know you are a parent when..." but I decided to throw it out to my FB friends and they totally ran with it!  So, here are my favorites and I hope they make you laugh (because of their simple truth) as much as I did...

You know you are a parent when....

• You only get between 3 to five hours of sleep a night. K. Posey
• You consider going to the bathroom by yourself a luxury! Madison Harbach
• Silence becomes suspicious. C. Scott
• You look a mess but your baby is dressed to impress. C. Scott
• When going to the grocery store by yourself is a mini vacation. K. Scott
• The hair on you and your husband's legs is the same length!! R. Ezell
• You hide in the laundry room to eat a snack so you do not have to share. J. Franks
• You find yourself speaking to adults in your high-pitched baby voice... and the baby is no where to be found. S. Lippold
• Slobber, snot, and other bodily fluids no longer bother you... even when they are on your shirt.
• You pray five minutes to put away laundry without a baby screaming. S. Lippold
• You can do just about anything one handed. N. Richert
• You run to the store and realize that you have dried baby vomit, or baby food on your pants, and you just don't care. J. Hester
• You can touch anything in world after changing diapers. S. Scott
• You forget to eat because your kid keeps you that busy. K. Humphrey
• It is perfectly acceptable to sniff a baby's diaper to make sure it isn't your kid that is stinking the place up. H. Moyer
•  Washing your hair is a luxury. E. Nowak
• You announce to others you are going potty instead of excusing yourself to go to the restroom!! B. Usie
• Your kid isn't in the room or even home for that matter and you realize you've been watching nick jr./Disney jr/sprout and singing along with the songs. K. Whatley
• You have 5 minutes to make the crucial decision to either 1.) go to the bathroom 2.) quickly shower, or 3.) eat. Yet, you choose to just sit down instead. L. Coup
• You use "the mommy voice" with confused ICU patients. A. Arnold (I'm not a nurse but I find myself using my mommy voice with other people's kids, my husband, or that waitress who just isn't understanding my order... Oops!)
• You rock a minivan. And when you hate the minivan because you are so uncool, but can't give it up for the sake of practicality. A. Arnold
• When you turn around for two seconds and you hear the fire alarm going off and realize your child pulled it :) J. Shively
• You learn to potty with a baby on your lap. J. Huval (Seriously!  Who knew going to the bathroom would be so difficult after having a kid?!?!)
•  You hand your baby to someone else to hold, but you continue bouncing up and down. J. Huval
• You can fart in public and just say "Man, her diaper needs a change." J. Daugherty (OF COURSE, my husband would come up with this one.  I'm such a proud wife.  I'm even prouder of the fact that he really does do this! Haha!)
• When you retrieve boogers from someone else's nose! C. Fenison
• When you are completely oblivious to your kids whining...but your childless friends feel like it's the worst sound ever. T. Daugherty
• Mommy-torture used to be something that you dreaded.  Now, it's something that you look forward to!  And you HAVE to get a picture of it....

"You mean to tell me that the big fat man is gonna bring ME presents?!?!"

• When you look at the tiny human and realize that all of the hope, dreams, love, pride, joy and amazement you've ever felt, or will ever feel is in that sweet little smile. And when they accomplish something new, or difficult, the compilation of those things expands to the point where you think your heart might burst. K. Scott

I couldn't have said it any better!  Happy Friday! :)

 

 

Spoiled

A few months ago, I looked at my child and had no idea what in the heck was going on with her.  Was she teething?  Going through a growth spurt? Hungry, tired, or hurt?  No.  No.  No. 

And Adaline looked at me and was like, "Why in the heck don't you know what's wrong with me???  You are my MOM!!! You are supposed to KNOW THESE THINGS!!!"  Followed by her clinging onto me and a whole lot of whining and fussing.

To top it off, Joe was in the field.

I was at my whit's end and started texting my bestie who proceeded to ask if she was going through a Wonder Week.  I had never heard of such a thing. 

Moms, if you have an infant or are expecting, I highly advise you to download the Wonder Weeks App or even go ahead and get the book.  When you are asking yourself, "I wonder what in the heck is going on with my kid right now?"  or "I wonder where my sweet child has gone?" or "I wonder what little demon has taken my child's form and moved into my house?", all you have to do is pull up this handy app and it explains what is going on with your child's cognitive development and why they are acting especially trying and then you can sigh with relief and pat yourself on the back for figuring out that it's not YOU, it's their sweet lil developing brain.

Seriously.  Go and get it.  It's the best 1.99 you will spend in the App Store.       

I digress. 

We are in Week 30 of Addie's development.  Last Monday, I couldn't figure out why she was holding onto me for dear life.  I pulled up the app to see why and was informed:

"Fussy and irritable behavior as around 29 or 30 weeks is not a telltale sign of another leap.  You baby has simply discovered that his mommy can walk away and leave him behind.  Funny as it may sound, this is progress.  It is a new skill.  He is learning about distances."

This is great to know.  It gives me a sense of relief that I am not totally screwing up my child when I have exhausted all of my resources and she is still not my happy-go-lucky girl.  But, oh my goodness, this past week has me exhausted and absolutely emotionally drained.

This past week, we not only dealt with the side effects from vaccinations and the flu shot but I am fairly certain that I have witnessed our first temper tantrums.  When Joe would have her, she'd be completely fine.  I'd walk into the room and she would start whining for me.  I proceeded with our night time routine as usual, laid her down, sang her a song, turned to walk away and I swear, the child looked up through those sleepy eyes and started kicking and screaming.

I know that we have turned that six-month-corner where babies go from being little lumps of existence to being smart little humans that know what they need to do to get what they want.  Joe and I both noticed this difference and, man, I thought I was ready for this.  Turns out, I am not.

The last thing that I want is a child who thinks that she can get away with anything.  It's so easy for parents who have children that are grown to throw out, "So-and-so's kid is SO spoiled... You should see the way that they act."  And, I may have said something similar to this a time or two when I was still all-knowing on the art of parenting... before I had a kid.

Now that I sit in the seat of judgment, the line between spoiling and care seems blurrier than ever.  I can't sit my six month old down and explain WHY she can't kick and scream every time momma needs to walk away for a second.  I also refuse to hear my child scream for hours on end.  Where is this line???

It doesn't help when I feel like "Bad Mommy" because I need a minute away.  I know that I can't be the only momma out there who feels like at the end of the day, there is just no more to give.  I have reached my limit, expended all of my energy, love, patience, and I am just done... and boy, oh boy, do I feel bad about it.  Becoming a mother is the all time greatest job ever and it's all that I have ever wanted... So, why are these moments so difficult?

I feel that the line between spoiled and care is different for each family.  I want my daughter to grow up happy and strong and to never have a single doubt that she is loved.  When I found out that I was pregnant, I made a solemn vow to Joe, God, and our daughter that I would do the absolute best job that I could do... and this is what I strive for each and every day.

We will get through the rough parts and I will enjoy the good (which I can honestly say is 90% of the time).  And I will try and remain patient and loving and caring... and if Adaline ends up being a spoiled, but very sweet, little girl... well then, we will blame that one on her daddy. 

Sounds like a plan to me!  

   

 

My Everest

From my backdoor, I can look to the left and see Tiefort.  It is the tallest mountain that surrounds this valley that is Fort Irwin and this view is one of the only things that I actually like about our house.

When we first got here and I was still pregnant, I told Joe that I would like to climb it before we left... of course, I said this with absolutely no intention of ever following through.  It was an idea for some far away goal that would never come to fruition and I didn't really care to see it through.

And then Joe came home a few weeks ago and said that he had signed me up for the climb. 

Lovely.

So, this past Wednesday, we woke up early, put on our hiking boots, dropped Addie off at my girlfriend's house, and with our backpacks full of water, peanut butter sandwiches, and bananas, we made the arduous trek up this damn mountain.

Oh my goodness.

 



At first, it seemed easy.  I was energetic from two cups of coffee that morning and had the new Britney song in my head and was bee-bopping along.  No sweat... actually, there was a little sweat but I didn't mind. 

But, see, here's the thing about mountains that I didn't know about... You have to go up, up, up... then go down a bit, then go up some more.  Ummm... hello, where is the elevator? Or the gondola?  Or anything else that wouldn't completely mess with your head???

 

The views were absolutely gorgeous and after two hours, we made it to the FIRST peak... and then had to go down a bit (and back up) to make it to the second and highest peak.  By this time, I am pretty much done and all that I can think about is my pb&j... but I kept moving along. 

After another hour and a half (we are at three and a half hours now), we FINALLY made it to the very top of Tiefort.  And it was the most amazing view (and feeling) ever.

 

But here's the other thing that I didn't think about when planning for this trip...  It's not like a race.  With a race, once you have crossed the finish line, you are done.  You can pat yourself on the back, grab a beer, and then be on your merry way.  Apparently, when you get to the top of the mountain, you rest for a minute and then you have to climb down... WHAT?!?!?

At first, the climb down seemed relatively easy.  But then we came up with the brilliant idea of skirting the mountain so that we didn't have to do the climb back up.

While we were on the path less traveled, this was the prayer that was coming out of my mouth as I tried to find a steady place to put my feet,

"Dear God, please don't let me die on this mountain... I need to see my daughter again... and I promise that I'll do better... I'll be a nicer person... and I'll try not skip bible study....  I promise I'll just be better.  Please don't let me die.  And please help me get off of this damn mountain quickly.  Thanks."

You are laughing.

I am serious. 

I was scared.

After another three and a half hours, a few falls, scrapes, and bruises, we made it down.

I have run three half-marathons and had a baby... I think climbing this mountain may have been harder than all of those.  I am so proud of myself for finishing but I think I am retiring from climbing huge mountains like this.  God knew what He was doing when He had me grow up in a place that was below sea level.  I prefer flat ground.  I have climbed my Mount Everest and I think I'm pretty much done with that nonsense.  ;) 

Mommy Lessons

As I blow the dust off of my keyboard, I am in complete amazement that six months have flown by with our precious girl. 

I have always been the type of girl that was looking forward to whatever was right around the corner.  I couldn't wait for Friday, or the next concert, or the next weekend getaway that Joe and I would take.  During my entire pregnancy, I drove Joe nuts with my impatience.  I couldn't WAIT for Baby D to be bigger than the size of a grape... and I couldn't WAIT for us to find out if Baby D was a girl or a boy... and I couldn't WAIT until the nursery was complete and Miss Adaline was in our arms.  Now, I can't WAIT for time to slow down... It is all going by so quickly.

I have not been a very good blogger since I have had Addie.  My days fill up quickly and in the blink of an eye, life at Irwin has become a whole lot better with friends and different social groups.  There isn't a whole lot of "me-free" time but documenting our life is important to me and something that I really want to get back into.  So, here I am!  Back at the computer and ready to share our experiences. 

Instead of going over the entire past six months (I know you are all dying to hear every single bit), I thought of sharing some of the lessons that I have learned since I have stepped into my mommy role... 

Lesson 1: Traveling with a baby is totally possible

It really is.  Joe and I were so worried before Addie was here that we wouldn't be able to do as much.  We are the couple that loves to get up and go away for the weekend and we wondered if this was possible with a baby.  It is.

Adaline has been cross-country twice (all road trips) and we have gone camping with her several times.  I think the best advice that I can give is PATIENCE.  Everything takes a lot longer to get done with a baby... packing, traveling, setting up.  Joe and I both get pretty stressed when getting ready to leave and even though we may have tiny moments of snapping at each other, we are quick to apologize, forgive and move on.  And, even with these times of stress, getting these amazing family experiences is SO worth it.  I mean, really, our child can say that she went cross-country before she was four months old... How cool is that?!?!

I could do a whole blog on this topic alone but I will wrap it up by adding that when traveling with a baby, make sure to bring the necessities... leave the rest at home.  I bring her pack-n-play, her Cloud B Gentle Giraffe, monitors, and of course, clothes, diapers, etc, and that's it.  I have fed Addie in her car seat instead of bringing the high chair and have given her baths in a sink.  Babies don't care and they are totally portable... that's why God made them so little! ;) 

Lesson 2: It's all about perspective
Just the other day, I spent the entire afternoon making two different soups that were baby friendly.  I was so excited to be making a good meal for us, as well as giving Addie new flavors and healthy food to try.  She was a doll all day!  She played and laughed and taste-tested as I worked away to make a couple of nice meals for my little family.

Dinner time came around and oh my good Lord, the child lost it.  I had a hot mess on my hands.  I would give her a bite of soup and she would eat it while screaming and acting as if I had created the world's greatest torture device. 

I could have been upset.  I was exhausted, she was exhausted, and we both were so done.  Instead of choosing that route, I grabbed my phone, snapped a pic, and laughed because I knew that she would get amusement from this pic when she was older.   

 

I feel that once I became a parent, I have been much more aware of my mood and my reaction to situations.  Life is far from perfect but if I'm having a shitty day, is it really fair for my sweet and innocent child to have to deal with my shitty attitude?  I don't think so.  This isn't always easy to do.  Sometimes Joe drives me nuts (and I know that I do the same to him) but the last thing that I want is for my child to be living in a negative environment.  Realizing this and being a bit more introspective on what's important and what's not important, really does make life a lot better... and situations a lot easier to deal with.  And I find that once I fix my attitude for her, internally everything seems to settle and become better. 

Like I said, this is not always easy to do but it is definitely something that I strive to work on for her sake, for mine, and for a healthy family environment.

Lesson 3: Priorities change

I remember that back in the day (ha! ha!), I'd get so excited about new clothes.  I'd get dressed up for work, heels, make-up, and all.  Every week, I'd pop over to Target and get something new to wear to go out on Friday night.

Most days, jeans are way too dressy now, I am in love with my yoga pants, my hair is usually in a ponytail or baseball cap, and my kiddo is dressed way cuter than me. 

It just doesn't matter anymore.

I still get dressed when we go somewhere but I'd rather have that hour of primping to spend time with my kiddo.  Naps and cuddling are a necessity.  And a really fantastic Friday night is pizza, a bottle of wine, and a movie with my hubs.  Life is so much simpler but I have never been happier.

Lesson 4: Marriage is more important than ever

One of my good girlfriends here at Irwin said that when she had her baby, she kind of mourned that it was no longer just her and her husband anymore.  This totally resonated with me because I completely understood the feeling. 

Since we got pregnant, Joe and I have had to redefine our relationship.  I'm sure that many mommas can agree that becoming a mother is all-consuming.  It completely takes over your body and depletes you of your energy... and if you breastfeed, your child continues to have a hold of your body.  It can be absolutely exhausting and at times, I felt like I had no more to give to Joe. 

I am so lucky.  He has shown an incredible amount of patience, love, and understanding.  We have had to communicate more than ever... and I know that most men cringe from that word: "communicate"... but that is the only way that we are making it through and still laughing. 

Life will never be perfect but I have never felt more full, content, blessed, and exhausted at the end of each day.  While falling asleep, I find myself throwing up a quick prayer thanking God for blessing me with Adaline, letting me be a witness to this beautiful child's life, choosing us to be her parents, and being so grateful that Joe is the one next to me in this journey.  Wow.  So blessed.   

 

  

The Sleeping Conundrum

Life in Baby Land has been amazing. Adaline is far more perfect than I ever could have imagined and becoming a mother has been life changing.  I would not trade these past three and a half months with my sweet girl for anything in the world and I am amazed at how quickly the time has flown by.

So far, the journey into parenthood has been relatively easy.  Breastfeeding, although demanding and time consuming, has been a breeze.  Addie latched on like a champ and aside from a few clogged ducts, things have been going rather smoothly in the whole booby department (a HUGE plus that I'm sure many mommies can appreciate).  She is happy and healthy and I have adapted to my new role as a mother effortlessly.  The only issue that I have come across would have to be the one that dealt with putting my child to sleep.  Seriously.  From the very beginning, I have felt plain ole stupid when it comes to my girlie and bedtime. 

As with any new venture in my life, I did my research to prepare.  I read, "Babywise," along with countless online articles about baby sleep.  I had opinions and ideas of what I wanted and I was ready... And then I had a baby who had a totally different plan.  I knew that I wanted to feed on demand and was prepared to lose sleep because of this... But I also thought that my baby would be completely fine nestled in her little playpen that was placed right next to my bed. 

 Yeah. Right.

My sweet six pound baby wanted nothing to do with being on her own.  I tried everything: would feed her until her little belly was full, swaddle, put a piece of my clothing in her bed, rock, sing, use a pacifier, didn't use a pacifier, tried gripe water, tried swaying, used sound machines, started a bedtime routine... And none of it worked.  I would put my perfect little angel down and she would cry as if her whole world was falling apart and it broke my heart.  All my resolve to "letting her cry it out" went out of the window (especially after my pediatrician said not to worry about it just yet because she was too little for it anyway). 

And so we began to co-sleep.  Now, I know that there are a TON of opinions on co-sleeping and a lot of them are negative.  But, it's actually a lot more common than one would think and I think that most parents that co-sleep with their babies are quiet about it because they don't want to hear a horrific gasp, along with a, "Are you trying to kill your baby?!"  

Obviously I am not.  

I never felt that Adaline was in any danger.  Joe was not very comfortable with this sleeping arrangement, so I had to be extra cautious with our positioning in the bed.  It was not ideal but I quickly fell in love with it.  First of all, both Addie and I were able to sleep and feel rested, one of the biggest complaints for new mommies.  I laid on my side and fed her when she was hungry and we both got plenty of sleep.  It made life super easy and I also felt that it was an amazing way to bond.

Our little sleeping situation was made even easier when the hubs left for a month and a halfu.  Lots of bed space for me and the bébé!  But, as the summer started coming to an end, I knew that things needed to change.  Joe was about to come home and I am a firm believer that having a healthy marriage will be important in raising our healthy children... And let's face it, things get a little complicated when your kiddo is in the same bed.  Also, Addie was beginning to roll over and even I knew that having her in our huge bed would not be safe when she rolled right off of it.  I knew what I needed to do (get her to actually sleep in her own bed) but I didn't know how.

I started again with even more research, along with asking a few respected mommies their methods for getting their babies to sleep.  One of the methods that I looked at was the Ferber method (which is even more controversial than co-sleeping) and one of the mom's that I used to babysit for said that this was actually what she had done and it worked perfectly.  

For those that don't know, the Ferber method is also known as the "Crying it out" method.  I was nervous about this and was so worried about totally screwing up my child.  But, the more that I read about it, I found that it wasn't simply leaving your child to fend for themselves in their big, bad crib.  It was gradually done and the child learns to teach herself soothing techniques, along with figuring out how to fall asleep on her own. 

So, I made the resolution and decided to give us three days, the amount that it takes a baby to learn and accept a new habit (or so I have read).  

The first night was hellllllllll.  I started our bedtime routine, wrote down every exact thing that we did and the times that we did them, made sure she was drowsy, laid her down, and the worst night of my parenthood (thus far) began. I checked on her after the first three minutes, then waited five, then ten, and twelve and continued to check on her every twelve minutes after that.  It took her 50 minutes of screaming and pitching a fit for her to fall asleep, only to wake up 30 minutes after and start it all over again. 

Horrible.

She was a mess. I was a mess.  And my poor husband was receiving calls from his crying wife who was certain that she was gonna screw up their kid.

Horrible.

But, like I said, I was determined to give it three days.  Night 2 was a little easier and only took her 30 minutes of not-as-intense crying after following the exact same routine as the night before.  

Night 3 was 15 minutes; Night 4 was 7 minutes; and Night 5 was an amazing 4 minutes. 

I know that this isn't for everyone but when I was desperately trying to figure out how to sleep train my child, I wanted to know what worked and how to get there.  If I could completely erase that first night, I would have.  It was just so bad but after we got through it, things have been so much smoother.  Addie is sleeping so much better on her own, as am I.  She is not sleeping through the night just yet because I am still feeding on demand which I am certain will get better when we start adding solids to her diet.  But, the child is sleeping from 7:00-11:30 and will wake about every two hours to eat after that. 

Trust me... This is a HUGE step for us.  

And, she is still incredibly wonderful and happy and I know that this will continue to get better!  

That's it for today in the momma-hood! More to come later.... 

My sleeping beauty who absolutely refuses to sleep on her back now that she roll over... :)

Newborn Pics

It is inevitable that when one is a new mommy along with being an aspiring photographer, a lot of "photo magic" will occur... or at least an attempt at photo magic!

Long before I knew that I was pregnant, I was obsessed with newborn photography and pinned a ton of photo ideas on Pinterest.  So, it goes without saying that I didn't wait long to take advantage of my new little subject and tortured her a bit with bows and tutus (which were made by yours truly the week before her arrival... the tutus, that is, not the bows... I had way too much time on my hands :).  It took us several hours to take these pics because there was a lot of pausing and feeding in between photos to ensure that my peanut was happy and content.  All in all, I am very pleased with the results, even though I  still have a lot to learn! 

Here are the results...   

(Side note: I have lots of friends who are much better and more experienced with photography than me... If anyone wants to pass along tips or suggestions, I will happily take them!)

My sweet girl... :)

 

 

 

One of the many fun things about taking these pics was using props that were given to us as gifts.  This beautiful headband was from my best friend's mom, Ms. Paula.  I found it super appropriate since The Great Gatsby is coming out this weekend and it totally reminds me of that era. 

 

 

She is already such a happy girl and is always smiley.  :)

My little thinker

 

Flower child

 

I may have edited this one a bit too much but I love that she looks like a little doll...

 

 

You can't have newborn girl pics without a pink tutu!

 

Photo editing fun... I am finally learning more about Lightroom and had a blast playing with the colors.

 

 

 

My godmother and cousins sent us these great classic novels that were turned into children's books.  I thought they were perfect props for my future little reader. 

 

 

Thanks Uncle Lennie for the beautiful quilt.  We love it!

 

 

I am obsessed with those feet and that smile.

 

 
   

Thank you "Faunty" Jeanna (Adaline's Fake Aunty) for the Janie and Jack skirt!  It's beautiful!

 

 

 

 

 

Already a diva?!?!? Getting ready for her close-up!!! :)

(Handmade quilt from my very good friend, Lori)

 

 

Proof that she didn't love every second of our photo shoot... Haha!

 

 

 

Love these cheeks!  She has already changed so much in the past week...

 

 

Sweet dreams! :)

 

 

 

The Day Two Became Three: Adaline's Birth Story

Many women say that they just "knew" when they were going into labor. I, of course, did not.

Early last Thursday morning (April 25), I woke up right after midnight with what was the worst contractions that I had felt yet. I had been dealing with Braxton Hicks for quite some time and these felt so much worse. I left our bed and moved downstairs to the living room sofa where I moaned my way through the night, timing contractions that were about five minutes apart. Joe had to be up at three that morning to head back to the field and when he got up, I was in tears from pain and nerves about him heading out. Needless to say, he saw me, made a few phone calls and basically told them that he wasn't coming in.

The contractions stayed pretty regular and intense, so I got up and did what any normal woman would do... I started cleaning my house. Seriously. I mopped the floors, vacuumed, dusted, and baked cookies for the nurses... All the while keeling over in pain as my husband looked at me as if I were nuts and I received text messages from my sister and bestie telling me to stop cleaning and go to the hospital. I thought that I had nested before but I finally realized that all that other stuff was just prep work... THIS was the actual nesting. When my house was spotless and ready for the arrival of a Queen (or my princess), I finally told Joe to pack up the car because I was ready for labor. We needed to go to the hospital...

To sum up that day, it was one of the most frustrating and disappointing days that I had in a while. That morning I thought for sure that I'd be meeting my sweet girl, only to find out that at 40.2 weeks of being pregnant, I was still not dilating or effacing. My home girl was not ready to move out any time soon. So, we scheduled an induction for the following Monday and I finished the day knowing that there was an end in sight.

Not even two days later, my day began much the same way. I woke up right after midnight early Friday morning with even worse contractions but this time, not being timed out so evenly apart. I was in so much freakin pain but could not figure out if it were "enough" pain to endure heading back to Labor and Delivery only to be told that it was nothing and I was once again, the Lady who cried Baby. So, I toughed it out and found out later that I was spending half of my labor rotating my moans from both my bed and bathroom. Amazingly, Joe slept through the whole night... Although, he did say that night he dreamt of wailing dogs... ( I wouldn't classify my moans as "wailing" per say but I know that I wasn't quiet!)

By 6:00 that morning, I had had enough. I could barely even walk or see straight. So, I finally woke up Joe who literally had to help me get dressed and put me in the car. The hospital bags didn't even make it in the car this time. I knew that I just needed to get to the hospital.

Upon our arrival, we found out that the Labor and Delivery unit was in fact full... A fun side effect from living on a super tiny post with a hospital that only has 4 hospital beds in their L&D unit and is exactly what every woman in labor wants to hear.

Our nurse took us into a private waiting room to get me checked out which was where I found out that I was 3, almost 4 cm dilated, she could see hair from the baby, and that I'd have to wait an hour for them to track my status and see if I had made progress. I was fit to be tied and immediately began to freak out! If she could see hair then that definitely didn't mean that I needed to go home. And, after reading every freaking thing that I could about labor and delivery and attending several birthing classes, I knew my rights as woman in labor!!! 4 cm= epidural time!!! I wanted my drugs, dammit! Which was exactly what I yelled at that poor nurse when she told me about the whole hair thing (I may have been in slight panic mode when the thought crossed my mind of having this baby naturally... Ummm, hell no. Not for me. Thanks.)

I didn't really have a choice in the matter. When there is no room at the Inn, you either pack up your donkey and move to the next spot available or you wait the stupid hour that this damned nurse is telling you to wait and you pray that your body makes progress or else someone is gonna seriously end up getting hurt. So, we waited and thank the good Lord, my body had finally kicked into high gear. I was nearly 5 cm an hour later and they found a room for us.

Everything seemed to progress rather rapidly after all of that. I continued to suffer with the worst pain that I had ever had in my life and finally got an epidural when I was about 7 cm and it was approximately 9:30 that morning (everything before the epi is now kind of fuzzy). I know that epidurals are so controversial but for me, it was the best choice that I could have ever made.

My anesthesiologist was absolutely amazing and fixed the epidural so that I could still feel pressure and move my legs but finally, all of that insane pain was gone and for the first time in several days, I got super excited as I realized that we were finally having our baby.

By noon, I was fully dilated but the nurse and doctor suggested that we wait about another hour to let the contractions naturally pull the baby down. Fine by me! Now that I was feeling good, I honestly didn't care!

A little after 1:00 pm, it was time to begin pushing. My doctor asked if I wanted a mirror so that I could really "experience" the whole thing. My immediate was response was no, definitely not... But, the more I'd push, the more I felt like we were getting nowhere and that this little baby was never coming out. When Joe started commenting that he could actually start to see her, I couldn't help but get a little jealous and changed my mind. They quickly set up a mirror for me and that was all the motivation I needed. My sweet girl, Adaline Grace, was born at 2:04 pm on April 27, 2013.

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One Week Later...
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I knew that becoming a mother was going to be life changing. I didn't know how. I have never in my life been more sleep deprived, swollen, or uncomfortable than I have this past week but I have never been happier or more in love, with both my child and my husband.

This week has not been entirely easy. I have already been inducted into Mommyhood by having my sweet girl literally finish a poop directly into my hands and then proceeding to pee all over me. There have been a few tears shed because I'm just really freaking tired. And the whole baby and sleep thing is incredibly difficult because everyone has a different opinion and there are so many differing ideas of what is "best" for baby.

But, I am absolutely obsessed with this child and my favorite thing is to simply look at her and then give her a million kisses. We have been blessed with the whole breastfeeding experience, which was one of my biggest fears. I owe a lot of our success to the fact that I read anything and everything on the subject and took several classes on the matter. It's been relatively easy and my girl has latched on like a champ.

And, the most amazing thing has been experiencing all of this with my hubs as I watch him become an amazing father. One story that I am sure I will share with Adaline when she is older is how we tried and tried to get her to sleep in her bassinet one night. She wanted nothing of it and the minute that I'd put her down, she'd start screaming. Joe suggested that we let her cry for like two or three minutes just to give her a chance to get used to it. Those were the longest minutes of my life. When I finally picked her up and held my crying child, I couldn't help but cry my eyes out from pure exhaustion and the realization that I couldn't protect my daughter as easily anymore. And as I cried and held her, my husband held me. It was just the reminder that I needed that I wasn't in this alone and had the best partner to help me out, especially during the really hard times.

So, as you can see, life is beyond good in our little house and I am loving life as a mommy. I am sure that I will be posting lots more on my new role but in the meantime, here are pics of the beginning of this amazing journey that we are on. Enjoy!