It's apparent you're a parent...

Many times during the day, I find myself doing or thinking things that either never crossed my mind until six and a half months ago or hasn't crossed my mind since I was in college.  Since I've had Adaline, I find myself making a pot of coffee at one in the afternoon (I haven't drank this much coffee since college), washing my hair maybe twice a week (it's sad when the girls in your work out class notice that your hair is looking especially fresh and clean), finding jeans too dressy for the day (yoga pants it is, again!), throwing on a baseball cap several days of the week, and giving the term "wrestling" a new definition to mean putting a diaper on your six month old.

These little realizations make me laugh and I wouldn't change being a parent for the world!  I could come up with a hundred ways to finish the sentence, "You know you are a parent when..." but I decided to throw it out to my FB friends and they totally ran with it!  So, here are my favorites and I hope they make you laugh (because of their simple truth) as much as I did...

You know you are a parent when....

• You only get between 3 to five hours of sleep a night. K. Posey
• You consider going to the bathroom by yourself a luxury! Madison Harbach
• Silence becomes suspicious. C. Scott
• You look a mess but your baby is dressed to impress. C. Scott
• When going to the grocery store by yourself is a mini vacation. K. Scott
• The hair on you and your husband's legs is the same length!! R. Ezell
• You hide in the laundry room to eat a snack so you do not have to share. J. Franks
• You find yourself speaking to adults in your high-pitched baby voice... and the baby is no where to be found. S. Lippold
• Slobber, snot, and other bodily fluids no longer bother you... even when they are on your shirt.
• You pray five minutes to put away laundry without a baby screaming. S. Lippold
• You can do just about anything one handed. N. Richert
• You run to the store and realize that you have dried baby vomit, or baby food on your pants, and you just don't care. J. Hester
• You can touch anything in world after changing diapers. S. Scott
• You forget to eat because your kid keeps you that busy. K. Humphrey
• It is perfectly acceptable to sniff a baby's diaper to make sure it isn't your kid that is stinking the place up. H. Moyer
•  Washing your hair is a luxury. E. Nowak
• You announce to others you are going potty instead of excusing yourself to go to the restroom!! B. Usie
• Your kid isn't in the room or even home for that matter and you realize you've been watching nick jr./Disney jr/sprout and singing along with the songs. K. Whatley
• You have 5 minutes to make the crucial decision to either 1.) go to the bathroom 2.) quickly shower, or 3.) eat. Yet, you choose to just sit down instead. L. Coup
• You use "the mommy voice" with confused ICU patients. A. Arnold (I'm not a nurse but I find myself using my mommy voice with other people's kids, my husband, or that waitress who just isn't understanding my order... Oops!)
• You rock a minivan. And when you hate the minivan because you are so uncool, but can't give it up for the sake of practicality. A. Arnold
• When you turn around for two seconds and you hear the fire alarm going off and realize your child pulled it :) J. Shively
• You learn to potty with a baby on your lap. J. Huval (Seriously!  Who knew going to the bathroom would be so difficult after having a kid?!?!)
•  You hand your baby to someone else to hold, but you continue bouncing up and down. J. Huval
• You can fart in public and just say "Man, her diaper needs a change." J. Daugherty (OF COURSE, my husband would come up with this one.  I'm such a proud wife.  I'm even prouder of the fact that he really does do this! Haha!)
• When you retrieve boogers from someone else's nose! C. Fenison
• When you are completely oblivious to your kids whining...but your childless friends feel like it's the worst sound ever. T. Daugherty
• Mommy-torture used to be something that you dreaded.  Now, it's something that you look forward to!  And you HAVE to get a picture of it....

"You mean to tell me that the big fat man is gonna bring ME presents?!?!"

• When you look at the tiny human and realize that all of the hope, dreams, love, pride, joy and amazement you've ever felt, or will ever feel is in that sweet little smile. And when they accomplish something new, or difficult, the compilation of those things expands to the point where you think your heart might burst. K. Scott

I couldn't have said it any better!  Happy Friday! :)

 

 

Spoiled

A few months ago, I looked at my child and had no idea what in the heck was going on with her.  Was she teething?  Going through a growth spurt? Hungry, tired, or hurt?  No.  No.  No. 

And Adaline looked at me and was like, "Why in the heck don't you know what's wrong with me???  You are my MOM!!! You are supposed to KNOW THESE THINGS!!!"  Followed by her clinging onto me and a whole lot of whining and fussing.

To top it off, Joe was in the field.

I was at my whit's end and started texting my bestie who proceeded to ask if she was going through a Wonder Week.  I had never heard of such a thing. 

Moms, if you have an infant or are expecting, I highly advise you to download the Wonder Weeks App or even go ahead and get the book.  When you are asking yourself, "I wonder what in the heck is going on with my kid right now?"  or "I wonder where my sweet child has gone?" or "I wonder what little demon has taken my child's form and moved into my house?", all you have to do is pull up this handy app and it explains what is going on with your child's cognitive development and why they are acting especially trying and then you can sigh with relief and pat yourself on the back for figuring out that it's not YOU, it's their sweet lil developing brain.

Seriously.  Go and get it.  It's the best 1.99 you will spend in the App Store.       

I digress. 

We are in Week 30 of Addie's development.  Last Monday, I couldn't figure out why she was holding onto me for dear life.  I pulled up the app to see why and was informed:

"Fussy and irritable behavior as around 29 or 30 weeks is not a telltale sign of another leap.  You baby has simply discovered that his mommy can walk away and leave him behind.  Funny as it may sound, this is progress.  It is a new skill.  He is learning about distances."

This is great to know.  It gives me a sense of relief that I am not totally screwing up my child when I have exhausted all of my resources and she is still not my happy-go-lucky girl.  But, oh my goodness, this past week has me exhausted and absolutely emotionally drained.

This past week, we not only dealt with the side effects from vaccinations and the flu shot but I am fairly certain that I have witnessed our first temper tantrums.  When Joe would have her, she'd be completely fine.  I'd walk into the room and she would start whining for me.  I proceeded with our night time routine as usual, laid her down, sang her a song, turned to walk away and I swear, the child looked up through those sleepy eyes and started kicking and screaming.

I know that we have turned that six-month-corner where babies go from being little lumps of existence to being smart little humans that know what they need to do to get what they want.  Joe and I both noticed this difference and, man, I thought I was ready for this.  Turns out, I am not.

The last thing that I want is a child who thinks that she can get away with anything.  It's so easy for parents who have children that are grown to throw out, "So-and-so's kid is SO spoiled... You should see the way that they act."  And, I may have said something similar to this a time or two when I was still all-knowing on the art of parenting... before I had a kid.

Now that I sit in the seat of judgment, the line between spoiling and care seems blurrier than ever.  I can't sit my six month old down and explain WHY she can't kick and scream every time momma needs to walk away for a second.  I also refuse to hear my child scream for hours on end.  Where is this line???

It doesn't help when I feel like "Bad Mommy" because I need a minute away.  I know that I can't be the only momma out there who feels like at the end of the day, there is just no more to give.  I have reached my limit, expended all of my energy, love, patience, and I am just done... and boy, oh boy, do I feel bad about it.  Becoming a mother is the all time greatest job ever and it's all that I have ever wanted... So, why are these moments so difficult?

I feel that the line between spoiled and care is different for each family.  I want my daughter to grow up happy and strong and to never have a single doubt that she is loved.  When I found out that I was pregnant, I made a solemn vow to Joe, God, and our daughter that I would do the absolute best job that I could do... and this is what I strive for each and every day.

We will get through the rough parts and I will enjoy the good (which I can honestly say is 90% of the time).  And I will try and remain patient and loving and caring... and if Adaline ends up being a spoiled, but very sweet, little girl... well then, we will blame that one on her daddy. 

Sounds like a plan to me!  

   

 

My Everest

From my backdoor, I can look to the left and see Tiefort.  It is the tallest mountain that surrounds this valley that is Fort Irwin and this view is one of the only things that I actually like about our house.

When we first got here and I was still pregnant, I told Joe that I would like to climb it before we left... of course, I said this with absolutely no intention of ever following through.  It was an idea for some far away goal that would never come to fruition and I didn't really care to see it through.

And then Joe came home a few weeks ago and said that he had signed me up for the climb. 

Lovely.

So, this past Wednesday, we woke up early, put on our hiking boots, dropped Addie off at my girlfriend's house, and with our backpacks full of water, peanut butter sandwiches, and bananas, we made the arduous trek up this damn mountain.

Oh my goodness.

 



At first, it seemed easy.  I was energetic from two cups of coffee that morning and had the new Britney song in my head and was bee-bopping along.  No sweat... actually, there was a little sweat but I didn't mind. 

But, see, here's the thing about mountains that I didn't know about... You have to go up, up, up... then go down a bit, then go up some more.  Ummm... hello, where is the elevator? Or the gondola?  Or anything else that wouldn't completely mess with your head???

 

The views were absolutely gorgeous and after two hours, we made it to the FIRST peak... and then had to go down a bit (and back up) to make it to the second and highest peak.  By this time, I am pretty much done and all that I can think about is my pb&j... but I kept moving along. 

After another hour and a half (we are at three and a half hours now), we FINALLY made it to the very top of Tiefort.  And it was the most amazing view (and feeling) ever.

 

But here's the other thing that I didn't think about when planning for this trip...  It's not like a race.  With a race, once you have crossed the finish line, you are done.  You can pat yourself on the back, grab a beer, and then be on your merry way.  Apparently, when you get to the top of the mountain, you rest for a minute and then you have to climb down... WHAT?!?!?

At first, the climb down seemed relatively easy.  But then we came up with the brilliant idea of skirting the mountain so that we didn't have to do the climb back up.

While we were on the path less traveled, this was the prayer that was coming out of my mouth as I tried to find a steady place to put my feet,

"Dear God, please don't let me die on this mountain... I need to see my daughter again... and I promise that I'll do better... I'll be a nicer person... and I'll try not skip bible study....  I promise I'll just be better.  Please don't let me die.  And please help me get off of this damn mountain quickly.  Thanks."

You are laughing.

I am serious. 

I was scared.

After another three and a half hours, a few falls, scrapes, and bruises, we made it down.

I have run three half-marathons and had a baby... I think climbing this mountain may have been harder than all of those.  I am so proud of myself for finishing but I think I am retiring from climbing huge mountains like this.  God knew what He was doing when He had me grow up in a place that was below sea level.  I prefer flat ground.  I have climbed my Mount Everest and I think I'm pretty much done with that nonsense.  ;) 

Mommy Lessons

As I blow the dust off of my keyboard, I am in complete amazement that six months have flown by with our precious girl. 

I have always been the type of girl that was looking forward to whatever was right around the corner.  I couldn't wait for Friday, or the next concert, or the next weekend getaway that Joe and I would take.  During my entire pregnancy, I drove Joe nuts with my impatience.  I couldn't WAIT for Baby D to be bigger than the size of a grape... and I couldn't WAIT for us to find out if Baby D was a girl or a boy... and I couldn't WAIT until the nursery was complete and Miss Adaline was in our arms.  Now, I can't WAIT for time to slow down... It is all going by so quickly.

I have not been a very good blogger since I have had Addie.  My days fill up quickly and in the blink of an eye, life at Irwin has become a whole lot better with friends and different social groups.  There isn't a whole lot of "me-free" time but documenting our life is important to me and something that I really want to get back into.  So, here I am!  Back at the computer and ready to share our experiences. 

Instead of going over the entire past six months (I know you are all dying to hear every single bit), I thought of sharing some of the lessons that I have learned since I have stepped into my mommy role... 

Lesson 1: Traveling with a baby is totally possible

It really is.  Joe and I were so worried before Addie was here that we wouldn't be able to do as much.  We are the couple that loves to get up and go away for the weekend and we wondered if this was possible with a baby.  It is.

Adaline has been cross-country twice (all road trips) and we have gone camping with her several times.  I think the best advice that I can give is PATIENCE.  Everything takes a lot longer to get done with a baby... packing, traveling, setting up.  Joe and I both get pretty stressed when getting ready to leave and even though we may have tiny moments of snapping at each other, we are quick to apologize, forgive and move on.  And, even with these times of stress, getting these amazing family experiences is SO worth it.  I mean, really, our child can say that she went cross-country before she was four months old... How cool is that?!?!

I could do a whole blog on this topic alone but I will wrap it up by adding that when traveling with a baby, make sure to bring the necessities... leave the rest at home.  I bring her pack-n-play, her Cloud B Gentle Giraffe, monitors, and of course, clothes, diapers, etc, and that's it.  I have fed Addie in her car seat instead of bringing the high chair and have given her baths in a sink.  Babies don't care and they are totally portable... that's why God made them so little! ;) 

Lesson 2: It's all about perspective
Just the other day, I spent the entire afternoon making two different soups that were baby friendly.  I was so excited to be making a good meal for us, as well as giving Addie new flavors and healthy food to try.  She was a doll all day!  She played and laughed and taste-tested as I worked away to make a couple of nice meals for my little family.

Dinner time came around and oh my good Lord, the child lost it.  I had a hot mess on my hands.  I would give her a bite of soup and she would eat it while screaming and acting as if I had created the world's greatest torture device. 

I could have been upset.  I was exhausted, she was exhausted, and we both were so done.  Instead of choosing that route, I grabbed my phone, snapped a pic, and laughed because I knew that she would get amusement from this pic when she was older.   

 

I feel that once I became a parent, I have been much more aware of my mood and my reaction to situations.  Life is far from perfect but if I'm having a shitty day, is it really fair for my sweet and innocent child to have to deal with my shitty attitude?  I don't think so.  This isn't always easy to do.  Sometimes Joe drives me nuts (and I know that I do the same to him) but the last thing that I want is for my child to be living in a negative environment.  Realizing this and being a bit more introspective on what's important and what's not important, really does make life a lot better... and situations a lot easier to deal with.  And I find that once I fix my attitude for her, internally everything seems to settle and become better. 

Like I said, this is not always easy to do but it is definitely something that I strive to work on for her sake, for mine, and for a healthy family environment.

Lesson 3: Priorities change

I remember that back in the day (ha! ha!), I'd get so excited about new clothes.  I'd get dressed up for work, heels, make-up, and all.  Every week, I'd pop over to Target and get something new to wear to go out on Friday night.

Most days, jeans are way too dressy now, I am in love with my yoga pants, my hair is usually in a ponytail or baseball cap, and my kiddo is dressed way cuter than me. 

It just doesn't matter anymore.

I still get dressed when we go somewhere but I'd rather have that hour of primping to spend time with my kiddo.  Naps and cuddling are a necessity.  And a really fantastic Friday night is pizza, a bottle of wine, and a movie with my hubs.  Life is so much simpler but I have never been happier.

Lesson 4: Marriage is more important than ever

One of my good girlfriends here at Irwin said that when she had her baby, she kind of mourned that it was no longer just her and her husband anymore.  This totally resonated with me because I completely understood the feeling. 

Since we got pregnant, Joe and I have had to redefine our relationship.  I'm sure that many mommas can agree that becoming a mother is all-consuming.  It completely takes over your body and depletes you of your energy... and if you breastfeed, your child continues to have a hold of your body.  It can be absolutely exhausting and at times, I felt like I had no more to give to Joe. 

I am so lucky.  He has shown an incredible amount of patience, love, and understanding.  We have had to communicate more than ever... and I know that most men cringe from that word: "communicate"... but that is the only way that we are making it through and still laughing. 

Life will never be perfect but I have never felt more full, content, blessed, and exhausted at the end of each day.  While falling asleep, I find myself throwing up a quick prayer thanking God for blessing me with Adaline, letting me be a witness to this beautiful child's life, choosing us to be her parents, and being so grateful that Joe is the one next to me in this journey.  Wow.  So blessed.