My younger sister has just recently had a baby. This little miracle was quite a surprise for us. I will never forget the mix of emotions when she told me her huge news. I was in Thailand, Skyping with her and had no idea how to react. So what do I do? I immediately burst into tears and started laughing simultaneously. I knew that this was not really in her plans just yet. She still had one semester left in college and had a laundry list of things that she wanted to do before starting a family. But, I also knew that her passion and zest for life, her ability to be open minded, and her great capacity for love would be the perfect combination for motherhood.
I think that something as huge as an unplanned pregnancy can really flip someone's world upside down. As I tried to be supportive during the range of conflicting emotions that I witnessed during those many months of pregnancy, I knew that I wouldn't always have the right things to say. I also knew that everything would work itself out and she would figure out how to take on this new role as a momma.
Now, it's not an exaggeration when people talk about Baby Fever. I am nearing thirty, my clock is ticking, and I am anxiously waiting and ready for that next chapter in my life that includes Baby. Having a younger sibling have a baby does not help this feeling. I want a baby now more than ever because I want to be able to share this similar experience with my sister, as well as have our babies grow up together, as cousins and friends, close in age. God bless my very patient husband. My need for having a baby has probably gone into overdrive and he has been so loving and supportive.
As much as I want and need a baby of my own, I never felt jealousy towards my sister for being blessed with a child. She has truly given me the best gift by granting me the sweetest nephew and godchild. But, my favorite part about this journey that I have witnessed with my sister, is seeing her bloom into an amazing woman and mother. She is patient with her son, even though I know that there are moments that are completely overwhelming. I have never seen her more loving or caring. And one of the greatest moments was when she told me that she has never felt more fulfilled and content. That is more than anyone could want for a loved one.
I pray that one day, God will bless hubs and I with a child of our own. Until then, I will enjoy being a godmother and taking notes from my sister as she continues to grow and excel in her role as a mother.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
Precious Moments
With our move to California just around the corner, there are a whole lot of things on my mind. There are, of course, the obvious worries. Will I be able to find another teaching job? Should I take this opportunity to go back to school? Will I be able to make new friends? Will we love it? And, what if we absolutely hate it??? But, at the moment, the factor that makes me the most nervous is being so far away from family.
For as long as I can remember, I knew that my destiny was not to stay in the little small town of Breaux Bridge, Louisiana where I grew up. I knew that I wanted to travel, move to other cities and states, see other places, and experience as much as I could in life. It took me a while to get started but I think that I have been able to let go and let my path take me wherever I need to be. It started with my move to Houston... then my journey to Thailand... another move to Killeen (a place that I never thought I'd live and actually enjoy)... and now, California.
When Hubs first found out about getting stationed at Fort Irwin, he was not pleased one bit. He called me as I was getting ready for work and while using a few expletives, explained that we were getting stationed in the middle of the desert... basically the middle of nowhere... in California. I didn't really know what to say. It was a shock. I knew that we wouldn't be in Killeen for much longer but we were hoping for Georgia or Colorado, both military bases that had family nearby. California was no where on our radar.
So, I took a deep breath and for once in our relationship, I was the optimist. I told him that it didn't matter where we went, just as long as we were together. We could always find adventures and we would be fine. After we hung up, I immediately texted my sister and best friend and then spent every free moment that I had throughout the day on Google, frantically trying to find out exactly where we were going and what we could do while we were there.
And now that our move is looming and the summer is rapidly passing us by, there are so many reasons to be excited. I have never been to California, never seen the West Coast and we have so many ideas and places that we are planning on visiting. It blows my mind that I am looking for races in California and that we are planning on spending New Year's in Vegas. It's absolutely insane to me and doesn't seem real...
... And then I think about our families. And this is the part that scares the shit out of me. My sister and I are so close. She is my best friend and my confidant. We talk on a daily basis, sharing our lives with one another through texts and phone calls. The longest that I have ever gone without seeing her were the three months when I was in Thailand and it was so difficult. It makes my heart break knowing that she will be raising her baby boy with me being so far away. I feel panicked when I think that Hubs and I will hopefully be having our own kids soon and knowing that our family probably won't be there for that huge step.
I honestly could work myself into a frenzy and state of panic if I let myself indulge in these thoughts too much...but I will refrain from that. Instead, I choose to take every opportunity that I can, spend time with both of our families, and relish each precious moment that we get with them.
Because, in reality, shouldn't we have been doing that all along???
For as long as I can remember, I knew that my destiny was not to stay in the little small town of Breaux Bridge, Louisiana where I grew up. I knew that I wanted to travel, move to other cities and states, see other places, and experience as much as I could in life. It took me a while to get started but I think that I have been able to let go and let my path take me wherever I need to be. It started with my move to Houston... then my journey to Thailand... another move to Killeen (a place that I never thought I'd live and actually enjoy)... and now, California.
When Hubs first found out about getting stationed at Fort Irwin, he was not pleased one bit. He called me as I was getting ready for work and while using a few expletives, explained that we were getting stationed in the middle of the desert... basically the middle of nowhere... in California. I didn't really know what to say. It was a shock. I knew that we wouldn't be in Killeen for much longer but we were hoping for Georgia or Colorado, both military bases that had family nearby. California was no where on our radar.
So, I took a deep breath and for once in our relationship, I was the optimist. I told him that it didn't matter where we went, just as long as we were together. We could always find adventures and we would be fine. After we hung up, I immediately texted my sister and best friend and then spent every free moment that I had throughout the day on Google, frantically trying to find out exactly where we were going and what we could do while we were there.
And now that our move is looming and the summer is rapidly passing us by, there are so many reasons to be excited. I have never been to California, never seen the West Coast and we have so many ideas and places that we are planning on visiting. It blows my mind that I am looking for races in California and that we are planning on spending New Year's in Vegas. It's absolutely insane to me and doesn't seem real...
... And then I think about our families. And this is the part that scares the shit out of me. My sister and I are so close. She is my best friend and my confidant. We talk on a daily basis, sharing our lives with one another through texts and phone calls. The longest that I have ever gone without seeing her were the three months when I was in Thailand and it was so difficult. It makes my heart break knowing that she will be raising her baby boy with me being so far away. I feel panicked when I think that Hubs and I will hopefully be having our own kids soon and knowing that our family probably won't be there for that huge step.
I honestly could work myself into a frenzy and state of panic if I let myself indulge in these thoughts too much...but I will refrain from that. Instead, I choose to take every opportunity that I can, spend time with both of our families, and relish each precious moment that we get with them.
Because, in reality, shouldn't we have been doing that all along???
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Running Girl
Back in 2006, I started running. Let me clarify... I started in my attempt to run. There were a whole bunch of reasons to start this little activity: I was getting a little older and my size 4 was beginning to become a bit harder to maintain; I wanted a healthier lifestyle; I needed a way to get out my frustrations; but, the main reason was that when I mentioned wanting to do a race at some point in my life, my ex laughed, said I wasn't athletic, and that it was never going to happen...
The best ammunition ever.
If you know anything about me, you know that I am not competitive... maybe when it comes to board games but that's about it. I don't have an athletic bone in my body. I never worked out during High School because I preferred practicing for Speech (yes, I am that kind of nerd). And, I enjoy eating and drinking probably a little too much (this I blame entirely on being from Louisiana). But, you also know that if you tell me that I'm not going to do something, then you sure as hell better believe that I will prove you wrong.
So, I started slowly. For the longest time, I'd run about a mile or two and think how fantastic I was becoming. Then, I started looking into races. 5k's seemed too short, so I made the goal of running my first 10k. I knew it wasn't much and that for veteran runners, it was kind of a joke. But for me, the determination that I felt and the time that I put into training made crossing my first finish line the most amazing experience ever.
I was hooked...
After that, running wasn't about proving someone wrong anymore. It had taken on a whole new personal meaning. It didn't matter that I wasn't athletic. I knew that I would never finish first in a race and I really didn't care. It didn't matter how long it took or what I looked like. Just the fact that I was out there, sweating my ass off, looking like the complete klutz that I was, was enough for me (as long as I didn't trip and fall while running, I was fine).
The more miles that I gained, the happier I was. In my head, I was jumping up and down, doing a happy dance while I ran, complete with leaps and very excited arm gestures. On the outside, I probably looked like I was dying: huffing, puffing, sweating, and being quite near to collapsing. The thing is, is that it didn't matter.
So, I made the really ambitious goal of running a marathon before I turned 30. Note, that was nearly six years ago... I had all of the time in the world!!! I never realized that 30 would be just around the corner.
And here I am now... with a year to train and get this thing done. I know that I don't have to do it... it was a goal that was made by a very naive young woman who had no idea what it felt like to run even half of a marathon. And frankly, it scares the shit out of me. When I thought that I sucked at running at 23... well, let's just say that I haven't become any more athletic over the years. Running is still hard. I still need to take breaks. I still find it difficult to stay motivated. But, I can't help but think, if running this marathon is one of the hardest things that I do in my life... then maybe everything will seem a little bit easier after that...
Wishful thinking? Maybe. I guess we will just have to see!
The best ammunition ever.
If you know anything about me, you know that I am not competitive... maybe when it comes to board games but that's about it. I don't have an athletic bone in my body. I never worked out during High School because I preferred practicing for Speech (yes, I am that kind of nerd). And, I enjoy eating and drinking probably a little too much (this I blame entirely on being from Louisiana). But, you also know that if you tell me that I'm not going to do something, then you sure as hell better believe that I will prove you wrong.
So, I started slowly. For the longest time, I'd run about a mile or two and think how fantastic I was becoming. Then, I started looking into races. 5k's seemed too short, so I made the goal of running my first 10k. I knew it wasn't much and that for veteran runners, it was kind of a joke. But for me, the determination that I felt and the time that I put into training made crossing my first finish line the most amazing experience ever.
I was hooked...
After that, running wasn't about proving someone wrong anymore. It had taken on a whole new personal meaning. It didn't matter that I wasn't athletic. I knew that I would never finish first in a race and I really didn't care. It didn't matter how long it took or what I looked like. Just the fact that I was out there, sweating my ass off, looking like the complete klutz that I was, was enough for me (as long as I didn't trip and fall while running, I was fine).
The more miles that I gained, the happier I was. In my head, I was jumping up and down, doing a happy dance while I ran, complete with leaps and very excited arm gestures. On the outside, I probably looked like I was dying: huffing, puffing, sweating, and being quite near to collapsing. The thing is, is that it didn't matter.
So, I made the really ambitious goal of running a marathon before I turned 30. Note, that was nearly six years ago... I had all of the time in the world!!! I never realized that 30 would be just around the corner.
And here I am now... with a year to train and get this thing done. I know that I don't have to do it... it was a goal that was made by a very naive young woman who had no idea what it felt like to run even half of a marathon. And frankly, it scares the shit out of me. When I thought that I sucked at running at 23... well, let's just say that I haven't become any more athletic over the years. Running is still hard. I still need to take breaks. I still find it difficult to stay motivated. But, I can't help but think, if running this marathon is one of the hardest things that I do in my life... then maybe everything will seem a little bit easier after that...
Wishful thinking? Maybe. I guess we will just have to see!
Monday, June 18, 2012
The cynic turned romantic...
When Hubs and I first started dating back in 2008, I was all kinds of messed up. I had gotten out of a very painful marriage that I can confidently say hurt both parties immensely, endured a few screwed up post-breakup relationships, and had simply given up on love. My heavy heart felt like it couldn't risk the chance of opening up and letting anyone near it.
So, what do I do? I become a cynical bitch. True story. There's no risk of getting hurt if you don't care about hand holding, or making plans with someone that you enjoy being around, or waking up cuddled next to the person that you love. For a while, I convinced myself that I had just shut all of that stuff off. I did such a great job of convincing myself this that even The Notebook made me nauseous... probably because I was so lonely but I said it was all of the "love crap" that made my stomach turn. I decided to focus my energy on becoming the best teacher that I could be and that friends and family were enough.
And in walks Joe.
He was friendly, handsome, and confident, loved to have a good time, and was a gentleman who not only opened my door but would put his hand on the small of my back as he guided me through a room. Oh. My. Goodness. As hard as I tried not to care, he completely turned my world upside down. The cynical side of me would tease him about being as sappy as a country song but, in my head, my inner romantic girl was swooning and clutching her hands to her chest as she sighed.
I don't know how he did it but he managed to show me exactly what true love really is. Our relationship hasn't been perfect and we have had to overcome some very rough obstacles but truly by the grace of God, we have managed to make it. I've never experienced anything like this... a relationship where even after so long, I still get butterflies in my stomach when he grabs my hand. He makes me excited to live life and have adventures. He is patient with me when I'm acting like a complete "B". He makes me laugh, he holds me when I cry, and when my inner pessimist is coming out, he helps me see the optimistic side. And unlike any romantic relationship that I have been in, he makes me communicate when all I want to do is clam up. I'm not sure what I was looking for in a husband... but somehow I managed to not settle and found exactly what I needed...
So, please excuse me for my sentimental post (I am still on that Honeymoon High) but I wanted to share a few of our wedding pictures, as well as the Vows that we wrote to one another since our family and friends weren't there. Enjoy! :)
So, what do I do? I become a cynical bitch. True story. There's no risk of getting hurt if you don't care about hand holding, or making plans with someone that you enjoy being around, or waking up cuddled next to the person that you love. For a while, I convinced myself that I had just shut all of that stuff off. I did such a great job of convincing myself this that even The Notebook made me nauseous... probably because I was so lonely but I said it was all of the "love crap" that made my stomach turn. I decided to focus my energy on becoming the best teacher that I could be and that friends and family were enough.
And in walks Joe.
He was friendly, handsome, and confident, loved to have a good time, and was a gentleman who not only opened my door but would put his hand on the small of my back as he guided me through a room. Oh. My. Goodness. As hard as I tried not to care, he completely turned my world upside down. The cynical side of me would tease him about being as sappy as a country song but, in my head, my inner romantic girl was swooning and clutching her hands to her chest as she sighed.
I don't know how he did it but he managed to show me exactly what true love really is. Our relationship hasn't been perfect and we have had to overcome some very rough obstacles but truly by the grace of God, we have managed to make it. I've never experienced anything like this... a relationship where even after so long, I still get butterflies in my stomach when he grabs my hand. He makes me excited to live life and have adventures. He is patient with me when I'm acting like a complete "B". He makes me laugh, he holds me when I cry, and when my inner pessimist is coming out, he helps me see the optimistic side. And unlike any romantic relationship that I have been in, he makes me communicate when all I want to do is clam up. I'm not sure what I was looking for in a husband... but somehow I managed to not settle and found exactly what I needed...
So, please excuse me for my sentimental post (I am still on that Honeymoon High) but I wanted to share a few of our wedding pictures, as well as the Vows that we wrote to one another since our family and friends weren't there. Enjoy! :)
His Vows
Never in my life, has anything or anyone made me feel like you do. Everything I do with you has an incredible intensity of feeling. Whether it be skydiving, or even the most mundane of tasks, it is magnified by the magnificent love that I feel with you.
Never did I think that so much pleasure could be found in planting flowers, listening to music, or even a night time walk through a trailer park.
We had a few great dates, yet I feel that our adventure started when you agreed to play hooky to go to the zoo with me. I was completely ecstatic about going to hang out with you. It wouldn't have mattered if it were the zoo or a barren wasteland that we were going to. What mattered is that it was with you.
This is my vow. I vow to hold on to the intense emotion of love that I feel with you in all things we do. As long as we hold onto that feeling, nurture it and never let it diminish, then all things will fall into place. No matter what we do, where we go, what we have, I will always hold onto our adventuresome love. I will love you as long as there is breath in me. With passion, warmth, and most of all, with the spirit of life you inspire in me.
Her Vows
My Sweet Joe,
From the moment that you walked into my life, my world has never been the same. How could I have known that some random set-up would lead me to not only my love but my best friend? You have given my life a whole new meaning by showing me that true, unconditional love doesn't just exist in the novels that I read as a young girl. It is something very real, something that you exhibit daily, and for this, I will forever be grateful.
I promise to reciprocate this unconditional love and will work with you every day to make it grow and become stronger, for the rest of our lives. I promise to be patient, quick to forgive, and to fight for our marriage when life presents us with challenges. I promise to be true to you, to never stray, and will keep my full trust in you. I promise to laugh with you (and at your stupid jokes), to dance with you through life, and to stand right beside you during the many adventures that we take on. I promise to seize each and every day with you and will continue to make myself the best person that I can be.
I know that each day will not always be easy and sometimes life will bring us unexpected storms. I know that I will get annoyed from time to time because you didn't pick up after yourself or that you will get annoyed because I'm being kind-of moody. But, I also know that there is nothing that we can't get through together. I love you, my Joe, and from this day forward, I am yours and only yours, for the rest of my life.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
The Honeymooners
When Hubs and I made our wedding plans, we decided that a destination wedding with just the two of us would be the best bet. We both love traveling and seeing new places and frankly, spending all kinds of money on some massive fancy wedding would just make the both of us very nauseous. As selfish as some may think it is, we wanted our wedding to be about US... saying our vows to one another and promising to spend the rest of our lives together... not spending a whole bunch of money so our family and friends could get wasted. Don't get me wrong, I'm a sucker for romantic weddings and the party that follows and this was a decision that took both of us quite a while to make. But when we finally did, we were very happy with our plan.
So, we started looking at destination weddings and like all really good plans, we had to make some tweaks. While doing our research, we found out just how difficult it would be to get married in another country. There's a whole lot of paperwork and legwork and blah, blah, blah... Just the thought of all that stress of making sure all i's were dotted and t's crossed made my head hurt.
We did, however, find a Symbolic Ceremony offered at the Secrets Resort in Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic that sounded wonderful. So, we made a quick decision to do our legal ceremony in the States with a with a bit of family and friends who could show up at the last minute and then (not so patiently) wait for two months for our wedding/ honeymoon in the Dominican.
I could go on for days and days about just how fantastic this trip was but since I don't have that kind of time (and I'm sure you would get pretty annoyed reading) I'll give my top favorite moments of our little trip.
* Seeing my husband in his casual beach attire, smiling and waiting for me as I walked to Caribbean tunes, across a beautiful white sandy beach, dressed in white, both of us happy and barefoot. Then saying both the classic wedding vows and our own personal vows that we wrote for each other. This will be a moment that I will cherish and hold in my heart forever. It was so beautiful and I felt so lucky to be in love with this amazing man.
* No honeymoon is complete without tons of champagne and rose petals. The staff at our resort went above and beyond to make our experience special and they did not fail at all. We were greeted with a glass of champagne upon our arrival, had a "Just Married" banner posted on our door the night of our wedding, and had rose petals placed on our bed almost every night. Every thing that a girl could want!
* Hubs and I met plenty of couples who were Honeymooning, getting married, and liked having fun. The experiences with these people included (but were not limited to) playing flip-cup (basically a college drinking game) on rafts put together in the pool, doing the limbo on the beach, and going out after our wedding and jumping in the club's rooftop pool- wedding attire and all.
Needless to say, we had a fabulous time and have some beautiful pictures that I will post when I am home and finally on a real computer.
Our trip may be over but our Honeymoon has just begun. The future may be unknown but I am excited about the many adventures ahead for my groom and I!
So, we started looking at destination weddings and like all really good plans, we had to make some tweaks. While doing our research, we found out just how difficult it would be to get married in another country. There's a whole lot of paperwork and legwork and blah, blah, blah... Just the thought of all that stress of making sure all i's were dotted and t's crossed made my head hurt.
We did, however, find a Symbolic Ceremony offered at the Secrets Resort in Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic that sounded wonderful. So, we made a quick decision to do our legal ceremony in the States with a with a bit of family and friends who could show up at the last minute and then (not so patiently) wait for two months for our wedding/ honeymoon in the Dominican.
I could go on for days and days about just how fantastic this trip was but since I don't have that kind of time (and I'm sure you would get pretty annoyed reading) I'll give my top favorite moments of our little trip.
* Seeing my husband in his casual beach attire, smiling and waiting for me as I walked to Caribbean tunes, across a beautiful white sandy beach, dressed in white, both of us happy and barefoot. Then saying both the classic wedding vows and our own personal vows that we wrote for each other. This will be a moment that I will cherish and hold in my heart forever. It was so beautiful and I felt so lucky to be in love with this amazing man.
* No honeymoon is complete without tons of champagne and rose petals. The staff at our resort went above and beyond to make our experience special and they did not fail at all. We were greeted with a glass of champagne upon our arrival, had a "Just Married" banner posted on our door the night of our wedding, and had rose petals placed on our bed almost every night. Every thing that a girl could want!
* Hubs and I met plenty of couples who were Honeymooning, getting married, and liked having fun. The experiences with these people included (but were not limited to) playing flip-cup (basically a college drinking game) on rafts put together in the pool, doing the limbo on the beach, and going out after our wedding and jumping in the club's rooftop pool- wedding attire and all.
Needless to say, we had a fabulous time and have some beautiful pictures that I will post when I am home and finally on a real computer.
Our trip may be over but our Honeymoon has just begun. The future may be unknown but I am excited about the many adventures ahead for my groom and I!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
