The trouble with blogging...

There seems to be a problem that I am running into with writing a blog.  I think it is a problem that many writer's deal with... whether they are writing a college essay, a blog, or something as prestigious as a novel... it is the fear of putting one's thoughts out into the world and not knowing how it will be accepted.

This fear was what kept me from writing for so long but as I am an English teacher, I decided to heed the advice that I have given my past High School kiddos and find the courage to take a chance and simply "put it out there".

So, my dear readers (whoever you five are) please keep in mind that I am doing just that... taking a chance.  I have been hesitant to write this past week because there is so much going on and with that are a slew of various emotions.  I fear that if I talk about our road to Baby, I may come off sounding a bit emotional or desperate... and at times, I'm not going to lie, I do feel exactly that.  But for the most part, I know that this is just going to be a matter of time and I am enjoying the time that Joe and I have without having kids around (this feeling is especially prominent when we are hanging with nieces and nephews and we can love and spoil them as much as we want and still feel that sense of relief when it's just the two of us lying in bed at night).  I fear that if I talk about the confusion that I feel about what's in the near future, that some may think that I am not "Letting go and letting God..." but the fact of the matter is, is that no matter how exciting it can be, change is SCARY.  And I fear that by talking about running or weight issues, these could be construed as me not appreciating myself for who I am. 

So, these are my fears of writing and sharing... but it should be noted that, for the most part, I am quite happy and content with life and like everyone, am simply trying to roll with whatever life hands me, both good and bad, and making the most of it. 

Now, please excuse me while I step off of my soapbox.  :)

With all of this said, there has been plenty to note from this past week!

First and foremost, the running challenge.  Week 2 was tough... not the challenge itself but the week in general.  I was feeling especially low that week and could not seem to drag myself out of the funk that I was in.  So, last week, I decided that I needed to give both my body and mind a revamp.  I started doing an herbal detox; cutting out most caffeine (I have to have my cup of coffee in the morning for sanity), wine, red meat, etc.  And since the directions specifically stated not to run five miles a day (I'm not kidding, it was in the FAQ's!!!), I had to lower my daily mileage.  I did manage to run 14.5 miles last week and incorporate a bit of mediation (something I am really trying to make a habit) and I swear, I feel amazing.  I cheated a bit on our camping trip this past weekend but all in all, I have been pretty pleased with myself.  It's a challenge for this Cajun girl, but I'm trying!  This morning, I felt so energized that I managed to run my five miles; so, I am hopeful that this detox is going to jump start good changes.      

Secondly, a few weeks ago, I wrote about finally getting the guts to make a doctor's appointment and make sure that we were all good on the Baby Track.  My long-awaited doctor's appointment finally came on Friday.  I was excited and hopeful that maybe we'd get answers or at least get put on the path to getting answers.  Long story short, my first experience with my military doctor was horrible and left much to be desired.  I have never felt so silly or like such a hindrance to any doctor before and she could not have gotten me out of there faster.  When I asked her if there was any way that we could start checking to make sure that everything was working properly (and I assure you, there are reasons for my concern but I refuse to bore you with details), she laughed and told me that getting pregnant would happen by the grace of God.  I wanted to tell her that me avoiding to punch her in the face was by the grace of God... but I didn't because my momma always told me to keep my mouth shut when I didn't have anything nice to say.  By military doctor protocol, I made my doctor's appointment three months too early.  I may have cried for a few hours after the appointment but I honestly knew that all would be fine, especially with our move right around the corner.  I had finally calmed myself down, only to have my exterminator ask me later that afternoon what we were waiting on to have kids... Second mental face punch of the day... 

And lastly, on a truly bittersweet note, our move to Fort Irwin, California is rapidly approaching!  Joe and I spent Saturday and Sunday camping with his family, which would be the last time before our move that we would get to hang out with his dad.  If that didn't make the move begin to seem real, giving our rental agency the 30 days notice today definitely did.  We are finally at that mark where we need to start getting stuff done before our departure.  It's so crazy, so insane, a bit scary, and very exciting.   

So, that is all my darlings!  A massive thanks if you are reading this.  I promise to continue to share and be honest, always with the hope of being slightly amusing and at times thought provoking! ;)  

Happy Monday, ya'll!!!