One of the most vivid memories that I have from Thailand was watching a family go about their morning routine. This family had one of the most basic living situations that I have ever seen. Their home was a tin roof that was held up with 2x4's... That's it. I tried not to stare but I was too intrigued with watching them go about their daily business. The mom had just given her 3-4 year old son breakfast and was urging him to go and clean up in their bath space (a bucket that was under a faucet). While he stripped down to get ready for his bath, she prepared breakfast for her husband and then went to clean up her son, whom she found standing in the bucket, peeing over the side and moving around to see how far he could aim it. Like the mother, I couldn't help but laugh.
By American standards, this family had nothing. But as I stood and watched, I felt their happiness and love for one another. They were perfectly content with their bare necessities and this realization made me take a look at my own life and wonder if I could be as happy while living a simpler life.
Joe and I move into our new home tomorrow and as excited as I am to be stationary for a bit, I'm ashamed to admit that the size of our new townhouse has been making me a bit nervous. This is the first time that Joe and I will experience living on post and in deciding to do so, we gave up the idea of finding the "perfect" home. Since Irwin is practically an island in the desert, miles away from any other town, this seemed to be the best option for us.
While talking to my sister on the phone last night, I expressed my anxiousness of moving all of our items that filled a three bedroom home into something much smaller. Not only are we downsizing but we are also about to grow by two more feet (and a whole bunch of new baby items). She reassured me that it would be okay and that somehow I would make it work.
Just talking about it made me start to think about the way that my husband and I want to live our lives and how we want to raise our child. Over the past couple of months, while we have been living minimally, we have talked about how people in our past generations have been completely fine and happy to live a much simpler life. My parents raised two girls in a two bedroom, one bath home for 16 years. As cramped as we were, for the most part, we were happy. It wasn't until we moved into a larger place that their relationship fell apart. Is that the reason their marriage ended? I have no idea. But I can't help but wonder, if we had stayed in that small house, where we were forced to sit next to each other and communicate, would things have ended differently? Maybe. Maybe not.
These days, the sign of success is to have more... more space, a bigger home, more toys, better electronics. Most of my friends are moving into their "grown up" homes and I am absolutely thrilled for them but know that this isn't in our cards for quite a while. Yesterday, while doing some Facebook stalking and gasping that one of my old and dear friends was moving into a gorgeous, new, massive home, my husband looked at me and with regret in his eyes, told me that he was sorry. Sorry?!?!? For not being able to give me a bigger home??? My heart broke! The last thing that I want my husband to feel is that he isn't providing for his family and the last thing that I need is more rooms to keep clean!
That moment, I decided to change my attitude and look at this move as a project on minimizing. I want to teach my kids (and obviously, I need to teach myself, as well) to be happy and content with the things that I have in my life.
While perusing the Internet this morning, I came across two articles, one from TLC on Home Downsizing and the other, a blog post on the 12 Reasons Why You'll Be Happier in a Smaller Home.
There was a lot in the first article that didn't pertain to us, like saving money on rent or mortgage by getting a smaller home. Since Joe is given a housing allowance and our rent is taken directly from this, there's not a whole lot that we'll be saving. The one thing that I did like was the question, What are my wants and needs? It states that more space and more rooms means that everyone can watch their favorite tv shows in different spots at the same time. Is this really something that is important for me and my family??? For me, personally, I'd rather sit next to my husband and watch a game of football that I don't care about (which is a game that involves anyone but the Saints, UL, and LSU) and share that moment with him, rather than sitting in another room watching Sex and the City. But those are simply my wants and needs.
The blog post obviously gives 12 very good reasons for enjoying a smaller home. My three favorite were: Less rooms to clean (seriously, who wouldn't love this???); Encourages family bonding; and Forces you to remove baggage. I want my family to be happy and close and anything that will encourage that sounds good in my book. The thought of removing baggage sounds like a huge chore that I am about to encounter but the mental image of decluttering feels like a breath of fresh air.
I know that minimizing is not for everyone and for us, it's going to be another big adjustment. Am I going to miss my walk-in closet and garden bathtub? Abso-fricken-lutely. And I know that I will definitely be missing the extra space when the baby arrives and our family comes in to visit. But I feel that this project will be a good lesson for Joe and I and for our future kids. I know that we will never be living as simply as that family in Thailand but I sure hope that we will be as happy and content.
I feel the winds of change are about to start blowing...Wish us luck!! :)
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