I know that I am fifteen days late but... Happy New Year!
As my lack of blogging shows, life for the Daugherty family has been a bit busy and chaotic. For the holidays, we spent nearly three weeks traveling from California to Houston to Lafayette, back to Houston, then to Killeen, Tx, and finally to Dallas before making the long way home. Needless to say, Christmas was not a time of relaxation but we were able to see all of our family members, have two beautiful baby showers (thanks to some amazing family and friends), and even made it to a football game where we saw the Aggies beat Oklahoma. Not quiet and relaxing but very fun.
I thought that maybe things would start to slow down once we were home but when we returned with all of this baby stuff and ONLY fifteen weeks until sweet little Adaline makes her debut (yes, I hear the ridiculousness of this statement), my nesting abilities have kicked into full gear and I have thrown myself into prepping for our addition. I know that there is time but I have this incredible urge to get everything done NOW... just in case she decides to show up earlier than planned. Again, not quiet and relaxing but very fun.
For most of my adult life, I have taken each New Year as an opportunity to reflect upon my growth from the previous year and think about what worked, what didn't, and what I felt absolutely needed to change. I take New Year's resolutions very seriously and contemplate on my goals for the New Year before writing them all down and posting them on my bathroom mirror. Of course, there are always a couple of typical resolutions: lose 10 pounds, run a half-marathon, etc. but I always make sure to include things about my personal growth as well. This year, with motherhood in the very near future, these kinds of resolutions seem to be more important than ever.
Before we got pregnant, maybe before we even started trying, I'd always say that between having a boy and a girl, I definitely wanted a boy. In my mind, raising boys seemed like a much easier task (and mommies of boys, please do not be offended with this statement. Parenting seems to be a difficult task all around). You teach boys right vs. wrong, keep them occupied with sports and activities, make sure they do their homework and learn the importance of hard work, and for the most part, you can pretty much guarantee that your boy will grow up to be a man that you will be proud of.
Girls are so much more difficult. First of all, there are all of the emotions and hormones that are involved. Good Lord. My poor momma had to deal with two girls and I'm sure there were times when she wanted to hide in the closet because my sister and I were p.m.s.ing at the same time. On top of the emotions, add all of the character building that is needed to produce a good, strong woman in today's society: building self esteem but not so much self esteem that she thinks she's better than everyone around her; the need for teaching independence, along with a balance of accepting help when needed; confidence for her to state her opinions and believe in her convictions but not too closed minded so that she doesn't learn from others; the importance of empathy and sensitivity but not too much sensitivity that will impede her own progress. The list goes on and on.
So, what happened? God chuckled and blessed me with a daughter. :)
I've taken enough Child Psychology and Child Development classes to know that some of these qualities are simply genetics. Another large part of a child's personality and development is due to role modeling... which brings me back to my New Year's Resolutions.
As I started to do my self reflection for this year, I noticed things there that I would never want my daughter to learn from me, much less feel herself. The biggest one being my sensitivity which has increased and my self-esteem which has decreased since we have decided for me to stay at home. I honestly feel that this was the best decision for me and my family. There will be sacrifices that will have to be made in the future but for both me and my husband, having a little less money seems like a small price to pay when we have a peaceful, healthy, and loving marriage and children that feel loved and taken care of.
The doubt of my self-worth stems from the (very few) people who think that now that I'm not working at a "real" job, that I have lost all of my credibility and am basically sitting at home, watching soap operas, and eating bonbons all day. This drives me nuts. I can't help but feel defensive and get this incredible urge to print up my resume, put it in my purse, and whip it out to prove that yes, I am still educated and have done some pretty fantastic things in my little life.
But, then it dawned on me (after a complete bitch-session with my wonderful husband) that the opinions of these people doesn't mean diddly-squat and that this decision was made because it is what we felt was right.
Not too long ago, my sister shared a quote on Facebook that talked about being a mom. It basically said that any decision that you make as a mother, whether you decide to work full-time, go back to school, stay at home, choose to breastfeed or bottle feed, use reusable diapers or disposable... some one will always be there to judge you. So, mothers should ignore these people and do what they feel is right because that's all that can really be done.
Why is it that we naturally focus our attention on the nay-sayers instead of the huge crowd that is cheering for us the whole way??? This year, I choose to listen to that huge crowd, follow my heart in what I feel is best for my family, and feel confident in that decision. Because, for me, that is one of the greatest lessons that I hope to one day teach my daughter.
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